It is now a little more than a week since the birth of my daughter. I have sent out 2.35 million notices to the parents of little boys notifying them that if they want to date my daughter they better start preparing to meet my 1,235 guidelines. My workouts have intensified, I have to really stay sharp if I am going to be an intimidating 50 year-old man.
In the meantime my 3.5 year-old finds that life as he knows it will never be the same. Overall he has taken this all in stride, but he still manages to find ways to let me know that he is not happy. There was the screaming fit in which he begged his grandparents to take him own. There was the urinating on the couch because he suddenly forgot his potty-training and the general defiant attitude that my friends and family say is a perfect imitation of your’s truly.
Slowly but surely we have taken the chaos surrounding the birth and have been shaping it into something manageable, a routine is forming. I can see daylight again, but it will take time to reach it.
I also learned that checking a girl’s diaper to see if it is wet is a little different than a boys. The location of the “wetness” is a little lower. This may sound like basic stuff, but I never changed a girl’s diaper prior to doing so for my daughter. Live and learn.
Anyway, I am not sure which little boy in this house has more going on. But if I could trade places with my little one, I might consider it. It might be nice to go back to playing all day. It is Summer after all, the perfect time to spend in joyful expressions of youth.
K,
We purchased a number of gifts for my son well in advance of the birth. It really has been a big help. He is slowly coming around.
And you are right about how fast they grow, I am amazed at how the time seems to fly.
Jack,
We were worried when our second was born, that there would be jealousy issues. Our oldest was the first grandchild and had two twenty-something aunts who spoiled him horribly.
We talked to those who we knew would be coming to see the new guy in the house, and mentioned we were trying to make this as easy as possible on son numero uno. We even went so far as to buy little gifts for the oldest, so those who came with a gift for the baby, and forgot about the oldest, could then secretly be given a gift to give to the eldest. Gift envy would be a big issue with an boy as petted as son number one was.
Fast forward 23 years, and they are the best of buddies, which makes this mom’s heart glow! You’ll be surprised at how fast this all changes.
They’ll grow up before you know it. Get some extra hugs in, while you still can!
Sounds like you’re doing the exactly right thing with asking him to be the little helper. That would have been my suggestion. That way they develop that big brother protectiveness, as well. Thirty years ago or so, my friend had a terrible time with Adam (his new brother’s name was Eben — isn’t that sweet?) He suddenly reverted to dirtying his pants all the time and I think he was in in pre-school or kindergarten already!! She had a terrible time with him, and eventually took him to a therapist. I think it straightened out, but I left the city, and we all lost touch. I have seen that Adam is a writer, however.
In my own experience, as long as we’re doing confessionals here — well, we weren’t but — my 4.5 year old brother was not prepared for me. He tried to run a little tractor over my head. He looks unhappy in every photo of us together where all gazes are on me. He ran away when he was supposed to be protecting me and let a wasp’s nest attack me. And they (the parents) didn’t know how to deal with it. I don’t believe they ever did. He’s still got issues with me and jealousy, although on the outside, we are friends (and god — who would be jealous of what I am going through?).
Instead of aspiring to be three again, look to 4th grade. My oldest has just started 4th grade. He’s still young enough to just want to hang out and play all day, but he’s old enough now to have some athletic skills so baseball and soccer are more like the real thing. And, in 4th grade, they actually start learning something more than just adding and subtracting and reading. He has a social studies textbook for the first time and will start to learn more about the world around him.
It is all still new and confusing for him, but soon they will develop a special bond that only siblings share.
We have been working hard on asking our son to be “our big helper” and thus far it seems to be working. Slowly but surely he is coming along. I expect that this will be a momentary problem and that he’ll grow to be very protective of his sister.
Awwww your poor little boy. My daughter was 16months old when my son was born and she took it in stride and now does not even remember a time where she did not have a little brother. That is funny about getting used to the girl diaper changes, it brings back memories of getting used to a boy after having a girl first. It’s amazing how a three day old boy can aim for the face lol. My daughter who will be four on the 13th asks me almost every day for a baby sister and stops to talk to any babies we see while out. My son would be very unhappy with a new baby though, he is happy being the baby himself lol. Your son will get used to his sister and maybe you can take him out for a some speical father son time. Also I’ve heard that getting him involved and asking him to help can work wonders, just a thought. Good Luck SelenaJean