If you ever want to kill a conversation. If you ever want to change the tone into something more somber and muted ask a parent if they have made plans for where the children would live if something happened to them.
It is a frightening topic. It is a hard topic. It is uncomfortable to consider what would happen to your children if they were to lose their parents. It is painful to think about a future in which you do not participate.
It is a discussion that you have to have. As a parent you have to take the time to consider all of the angles. If the worst happens, who gets the kids. Who do you trust to raise them. If the worst happens is there someone who can provide for them. Is there is friend or family member who you can rely upon to take care of your children.
Will they respect your wishes and impart the same values upon them that you would. And assuming that you have someone in mind that you would like to act as a surrogate parent, will they be capable of taking this responsibility on.
One of my sisters and I recently spent time talking about this. We live on opposite coasts. She is on the Frigid East and I am out here in the Sunny West. Neither one of us is likely to pick up and move any time soon so if anything happened there is a good chance that the kids would find that their worlds had been turned upside down in every possible way.
Of course this is only a hypothetical, a worst case scenario that we hope never develops into any sort of twisted reality.
But you know the old saying, people plan and G-d laughs. As we head into another new year I ask again to be given the opportunity to see my job through. At a minimum I need another 100 years or so.
I’d like to meet my great-grandchildren. Is that so much to ask for.
JCop,
Amen.
Rivka,
“No one is me.”
Well said.
it is something I think about all the time. It is why I am more careful with my life than I used to be. I don’t just drive extra careful with my child in the car but remind myself to do so when I am by myself. I want to raise her. I want to see her grow up and have her own family. Yes, it is very scary.
I don’t know who I would choose. No one is me.
great topic. I agree that this is one of the most important discussions a couple can have.
You want your children to be brought up a certain way and if (god forbid) something happens, you want to be sure that they will be taken care of and grow up with the guidance that is as close to what you want as can be.
My STBex and I tried having this conversation, but she lived (and still does live) in a fairy tail land where she believes that others around will change their ways in order to bring your child up as you would want.
Not realistic at all….
May none of us ever have to worry about the actual follow-thru of this painful and important decision, but may we have the strength to actually make the decision.
J.