I Hate The Holiday Season

Yes that is right. I hate the holiday season. 

• I hate being told to be of good cheer.
• I hate reading about the fake war on Xmas.
• I hate being assaulted by all of the crass commercialism.
• I hate being told that we should be nicer now than during the rest of the year.
• I hate emails that are blindly sent out without regard for whether the message is of interest to all of the recipients.
• I hate all of the stupid decorations. Gaudy is not cool and I don’t care if they are Jewish or Xtian. I dislike them all.
• I hate fighting crowds at the mall.
• I hate reading about knuckleheads shooting each other over a video game system.
• I hate the stupid elves that try and get my children to take a picture on Santa’s lap. Don’t they know that I wished Death upon Santa.
• I hate knowing that my cousin the Grinch rolled over and gave in.
• I hate most Elmo toys. That little red fiend’s voice grates on my nerves.
• I hate all of these stupid battery operated toys that beep, squawk and whistle. The next person who gives my kids one of those toys is going to wake up to the sound of a marching band outside their home.
• I hate the stupid holiday music. If I could I’d kick that little drummer boy right in the ass. And that kid who made that dreidel out of clay can bite me too. What the hell is up with a clay dreidel, the best are made out of wood.
• I hate fake snow. I don’t like the real stuff, but the fake crap is even worse. I live in California for a reason. If you need snow to feel like you are a part of the season get the hell out of here. There is too much traffic anyway.
• I hate, I hate, I hate.

Phew. I feel better now.

(originally posted here.)