“Oh put me in the book of good life
I just wanna live the good life
This could really be a good life, good life”
I just spent 90 minutes wrestling with the blog but it felt more like 90 days. Frustration began to wash over me and I let the venom fly from between my lips. Ten thousand curses or more echoed off of the walls of my office but none of them were answered.
I am not a designer, developer or coder. I am a writer who likes to play tinker and tailor. I have wandered through the woods and done what I could to make this joint look better. Spent more than a few moments trying to clean it up and had some success.
But today I wasn’t as successful. Today I couldn’t make this sucker sing or dance. Couldn’t quite make it move for me. Finally I let it go and decided that tomorrow would be better.
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It is less than 24 hours until the start of Yom Kippur and I am restless. Less than 24 hours and I am unsettled. This is not unusual. This happens to me every year.
But I give myself a break because every year is not like this year. This year there are additional challenges to be faced and overcome. And that is what we shall do because there are no other choices.
The children have heard me talk about this more than once this week. We don’t shirk or hide from the hard things that we face. We hit them head on and do the best we can to make them work out. I explain to them that some people can’t deal and they give up. But we don’t give up….ever.
In the future they and I will have more conversations about failure. When they are a bit older and understand nuance better I’ll explain to them why I don’t think failure is an evil word and how it can be of help. But we aren’t quite there yet.
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This year I need to write the book. This year I need to do more with the stories. There are about 150 posts or so of my fiction here and maybe another 50 or so elsewhere. I need to find out how to write an eBook. I need to build time to try and write down some of the other stories that are floating inside my head.
This year I need to continue to focus upon live and love…NOW. It is that simple and that important.
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In the midst of the battle with the blog I took time out to do a bit of lifting. Exercise always makes me feel better. Decided that I wanted some musical accompaniment and put on a little Metallica. I love this song and album- the orchestra really makes a difference Â
And now I find myself staring at the clock wondering how I managed to stay up until close to 2 am…again. It is a good thing that the kids don’t have school tomorrow as I think that I’ll try to sleep in a bit later.
I still feel a bit restless and unsettled but I also feel like I have as good a handle on things as I can. Life doesn’t give us the choice for when to deal with the things that come up. So all we can do is our best and hope that is good enough.
See you in about 4 hours.
We are connected. Your book is in your head, heart and hands, ready when you are. Today’s the day…it always is. Cheers! Kaarina
thanks for the post. I love getting an under the hood look at how other folks’ brains process. it helps. I’m not sure how directly, but it does. Honesty always has good effects.
Hi Brett,
Blogging bridges the gap between people. It helps remind us that we are connected or so it seems to me.
I love your view on failure not being necessarily evil or bad…we just need to figure out what we are suppose to learn from it.
Your book will come together…when it is ready. Oh…how easy that is to say to others. Until then play the Metallica loud…and curse at your blog…and continue to write for us!
Hi Jeane,
Failure sucks and I dislike it but I have learned much from the moments where I dropped the ball. I am a big proponent of letting kids fail. I don’t want their self esteem destroyed but I want them to learn what defeat tastes like.
It offers so many lessons not the least of which are coping skills. Life is hard and they need to know how to walk without my hand because there are more than a few moments where they will be on their own.
You are right about the book- I am just impatient. Need to push myself a little bit.
One step at a time. Live life each day, JB…Jobs died. He was JUST 55. We never know when we will pass. Death is the ultimate equalizer! Enjoy every day. So what if you don’t create a masterpiece today? L’shana tova…
Bruce, one step at a time is right. There is nothing cliche or crazy in saying that every day is a gift. Shana Tova and G’mar Chatima Tova to you and your family.