There is a boy in this house that asked me today about the time his mother’s purse was stolen. We remember it for similar and yet different reasons.
He was quite young but he remembers watching me try to out run an elevator to catch a thief. I remember it because it was a day that took a chunk of his innocence.
If I could get inside his head I would be quite curious to see what his memory of the moment looks like. It would be quite interesting but I never mention that to him.
That is because right now I want to redirect his thoughts to things that matter. I want to talk about love and friendship. I want to talk about gratitude and respect. I want to talk about education and health.
He wants to know what I would have done had I caught them. It is not the first time we have discussed this but he is old enough now to have more of a grasp upon what that could have been and what it could have meant.
My response is to tell him that it all worked out. No one got hurt. “But you would have hurt them if you had too, right dad?”
I nod my head and remind him that I will always do what I have to do to protect him and his sister. He asks me what that means and I say that it depends on what is necessary.
We talk about things that matter. It is a good conversation and an important one. I don’t tell him that part of the reason these conversations are important to me is because I could die.
I haven’t any reason to believe that is going to happen soon but things happen and you never know. It is important to me to give him as many tools as I can. It is a different form of insurance.
Things that Matter
I like this blog called Marc and Angel Hack Life. They have a number of posts that I think are cool and worth reading. Check out 12 Things To Start Caring About Today and  40 Photo-Illustrated Questions to Refocus Your Mind.
That second link has a series of questions that I am thinking about. Hard questions that are worth answering. It is timely for me because I am focused on the hard questions about my life. I want to dig deeper and make sure that I understand what is truly important to me. I want to narrow my focus to the things that matter.
I don’t have any plans to die any time soon but I feel the pressure of time. I am not 25 anymore and I don’t have years to figure everything out, at least not like I used to.
Now is my time to refocus and rededicate myself to certain tasks. Now is my time to chase the things that matter with more fervor than before. Part of that is because I have had time to figure out what is less important as well as what is.
I am Jack the dad blogger but I am also Jack the man. My job now is to figure out how to take care of the kids while taking care of me too. Now is when I will follow the advice of Steve Jobs.
What about you? What are you going to do?
Finding THAT balance JB is the challenge for all of us. My family now declares that I am “ALWAYS on the computer.” If I went to an office and worked 40-60 hours a week, would they be happier?
Hi Bruce,
I bet they’d notice in a heartbeat the difference between you at the office and you in a home office.
Wow, were you eavesdropping on my conversation with my husband last night? We were just talking about this same thing: about not waiting to live the life we want.
He and I both worry more than we probably should about what is expected of us and I think those concerns are holding us back from taking the risks that we need to live in a different way. But you and Steve are right: none of knows how many tomorrows he/she has. Why not try for the life we dream of right now?
Hi Kristen,
There is always a reason not to take a risk. Always a reason to hold back and wait for this reason or that.
It is hard when you want to “do the right thing” but sometimes you have to just go for it because tomorrow might not ever come.
Beautiful Jack. A beautiful lesson in understanding what is really important in life….when you strip away all of the material things, what is really left is our true selves and sharing THAT with your children is priceless. And, while words are so important in nurturing that relationship, they are also learning respect, wisdom and valor from your actions.
Great post Jack…but then again, I haven’t found one that wasn’t great.
Claudia
Hi Claudia,
Thank you. Just trying to take it one day at a time and do my best.
Crazy moments and crazy times. Had to call my folks today and say thank you for “just because.”
I need to read this today Jack – thank you!
Peace,
Elena
Hi Elena,
I hope your day gets better. Feels kind of funky out this direction.
Jack, wow, again. Very, very well written. I think it resonates with me because it comes from the heart. I don’t have kids and it hurts (in a good way) a bit to read about your experiences.
Dedicating ourselves to something seems like the natural way to progress forward. It just seems like the right thing to do. I, for one, am stuggling with what that thing is. There are still a lot of ideas boucing around in this mellon of mine.
The link to Marc and Angel is fantastic and their list of 700+ questions could keep me busy for weeks. I may just visit them on occasion when I am looking for some answers.
Thanks for posting.
Hi Ralph,
Nice to see you again. I think that figuring things out is more challenging for some of us. I include myself in that group.
But experience has taught me that there are benefits to taking the time to try and answer those questions.
It is not always easy, but it is important.
I have always thought that. What will I do. Though my life is not in the best of places right now and I am struggling and I know, I have had my share and I feel I can’t go on fighting and yes, sometimes I just feel like giving it all up. But I don’t really know.
I am trying to keep the hope alive, to think that yes I can and I will. And no matter what life gives me, I will fight right back. And I am trying. All I can do is be happy and not look back at this phase as something which broke me completely.
There are things that I just don’t want to do and things I will never do just because people want me to.I will be my own person and I will fight to be just me.
I am sorry, I think I needed a vent.
Hi Hajra,
There are rough moments for all of us and I think our attitude is critical.
Granted I am certainly guilty of giving into my dark side but most of the time I just shake it off.
That is because time has taught me that things really do pass, provided that we manage them.
Anyhoo, feel free to vent here any time.