The five dumbest dad bloggers is the sort of headline that sounds like linkbait but it is not. I am not trying to be clever or controversial. I haven’t ever thought about who the five smartest, dumbest or funniest are.
What I have thought about is how it has become increasingly popular for women to make comments about how dumb their husbands/boyfriends are. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard some woman talk about how their man isn’t measuring up in one way or another.
There are more than a handful of posts that I could point to that help promote the men are dumb/lazy/stupid or less than whatever it is we should be as well. I won’t be linking to any of those. They don’t need to receive any traffic from yours truly.
But I’ll ask a few questions that puzzle me.
- If he is so dumb why are you with him?
- What does it say about your judgment?
- What would you do if he spoke about you like that?
Just curious.
Children Are Important
I have been wrestling with whether to air out some dirty laundry here. It is not a simple decision because the consequences of my actions may not be borne solely by me. That is part of what makes the boundaries of blogging more challenging.
So I decided to speak in general terms. Children are not as dumb as some people might think. You can’t buy their love by seeing them once a year and presenting them with a big gift. Children want time with you. They deserve it.
Since I am the “mean” uncle I would be more than happy to tell you that you are an ungrateful putz who needs an attitude adjustment. If I believed that kicking your ass might accomplish something I might consider it. Not because it might be kind of fun but because the “mean” uncle doesn’t like it when our niece asks why you never show up for family events and leave early when you do.
You and I aren’t related by blood…that is good. That makes me happier because I might lose it if one of my siblings was like you. We were raised better than that and Ma & Pa Steiner shouldn’t be shamed in this fashion.
People Remember How You Make Them Feel
People remember how you make them feel. If you want to be popular and successful in most things you need to learn how to make people feel good. It is obviously not the sole requirement but it is significant.
One of the easiest ways for a business to distinguish itself from its competitors is to focus on people. Provide superior customer service and you will earn the gratitude and support of your customers.
As a father I try to be very aware of how I speak to my children because I know that my words hold more power. I know that the wrong words may stay with my children for years if not life. I don’t want them to be hurtful. I don’t want them to carry those around or to feel the sting unnecessarily.
Bloggers and People
I don’t know if I really want to write bloggers and people or if I shouldn’t say Bloggers are People. The latter is probably better than the former but it is so damn obvious it irks me.
Maybe what I should say/write is that once we post these words they last forever. We can edit and or delete them but you never know how many people see them before you make those changes. Once you click publish you lose control of these words and who knows where they go and what they are used for.
Got to get some shut eye, but before I go let me share this video with you. It is one that I have watched many times. It is a reminder to me about mental toughness. I think I need to work on that a bit, teach myself how to hold my tongue a little bit longer than I have.
And from an entirely different perspective it is a reminder that if I really try to do this I need to work much harder to get into the kind of shape it will take to qualify and complete it.
Interesting stuff. My wife and I were talking yesterday about children and how they end up and she was stating her case that parents build things into their kids and then they live up or down to them. If they’re consistently telling children they’re stupid, they’ll not try and seem stupid. If they build them up by telling them how smart they are, they’ll always try to be smart.
Same with spouses. We can build each other up or tear each other down, and if you’re tearing down then why be with that person? You hit it on the head of the nail.
Our words and actions help create our reality. I used to think that was a bunch of hokey new age crap,. but not anymore. There is a lot of truth in that.
I want to surround myself with positive people. What is the point of being with people you don’t like, disrespect or have none for you.
You are so very right about being with people who build you up.
Children aren’t dumb, but teenagers are stupid. I know, I once was one.
Count me in as part of the stupid teenager club- I checked that box off on my list of things to do.
Hi Jack,
This reminds me of “good and bad granny” from my personal experience. Good granny always made me feel special. She always opened the door and I could see her smile, and she had candy and cartoons and toys (and pizza). Bad granny didn’t almost open the door. The first thing she asked me, and she always asked me this, why don’t you come around more often, I hardly see you. I never told her the truth 🙂
People remember how you make them feel.
My takeaway is that I need to bring a pizza or take you out for pizza when we meet. That should go a long way to helping things along. 😉 Pizza, the bridge builder.
On a serious note your example makes a lot of sense and it is worth remembering.
Curse you, I saw the term ‘link bait’ and I was expecting pictures of Jennifer Anniston.
Write what you want and let the words stand is what I say. Side note: I remember watching that on ABC many years ago, tough indeed.
Hi Trey,
The naked pictures of Jennifer Anniston are located elsewhere. That ought to be good for my SEO efforts. 😉
That video always gets me.
I had a lot of thoughts and then I watched that video while holding my breath. Wow. Talk about courage. Thanks for sharing it.
My son watched that clip with me and then said he never wants to do the Ironman. Of course he forgot that I very much want to do it for my 50th birthday. Got a little while before that happens, so it might not even be an issue.
But if nothing else I liked showing it so that we could talk about courage, will power and mental toughness.
I had to click to see if I made the list of dumbest dad bloggers. Disappointed to see that there wasn’t a real list for me to make!
Good topic, and certainly something relevant in the community. And you reminded us that the internet is forever – which is definitely important to writers and family-men and women!
To be honest I had planned on including you. 😉 One of these days I might actually make a list, but today is not that day.
Hope you are doing well my friend.
Thanks so much for leaving me off the list. Thanks God you didn’t do a Top 10 list or I would be screwed. I love reading your stuff Jack and am looking forward to your Rad Dad appearance next week.
JR,
You are safe until we do top 18.25 and then you are screwed. 😉
Loved this post Jack, thank you… You always get me thinking : )
Hi Mark,
Thank you. Glad you enjoyed it.
I wrote a questionable post for this Wednesday that involves something I feel so strongly about that I can’t not write about it, but at the same time I’m walking that line of trying not to call certain people out. It’s tricky.
I understand how that goes. It is sometimes hard to sit by and not say anything, but once you do you don’t know what will happen.
Interesting topic Jack!
I did come over reading the title, thinking what was in store this time 🙂
Yes indeed, I have also read so much about women talking ill of their husbands or boyfriends that I find it funny as to why they are still with them or what really holds them with them any longer! On one side they live with them and on the other they keep cribbing or regretting the smallest of things – truly amazing!
You are quite right about saying that what kids value most is the quality time you give or spend with them. I think that’s the best gift you can really give them, and I know you are good at that Jack 🙂
That was an inspirational video about Julie! I think her actions said it all, and just the fact that she kept getting up the number of times she fell and never left her courage speaks volumes about her. I think these are the people that we need to learn from – never say die. 🙂
Thanks for sharing 🙂
Hello Harleena,
It really does boggle my mind. If you don’t like them that much than you shouldn’t be with them.
I wish that I could devote more time to my kids. I feel like I am perpetually distracted and or involved with “important” stuff. It is frustrating to me to not be able to give them more time because it is so important.
I always try to be very careful about what I say, especially in regards to my spouse and my kids, and really my family in general. There was one time I said something flip in a comment about someone, and a family member read it, and it hurt her. I’ve rarely felt so bad about something in my life. I was being snarky, for no real reason except I thought what I said was funny.
I forgot one of the biggest rules of the internet, there’s always someone reading.
Hi Andrea,
That sounds like it must have been awkward. It is often challenging for people to recognize whether we are being sarcastic/snarky/silly here. There are no verbal cues or facial expressions to follow.
You are so very right about the need to remember that someone is always reading.
My boy didn’t see me yesterday. But I did see him. I stood outside in the rain and watched him for five minutes through the living room window. He was playing with his transformers, enacting a great battle. Unfortunately, it looked like the Decepticons were winning.
Sometimes it is fun to be the villain. I don’t have any plans to go on any of the reality television shows but I have often thought that if I did it would be more fun to be the bad guy, just over the top crazy.
More importantly, did it look like your son was having fun? There is a lot of joy in watching them when they are unaware we are around.