I am not a tough guy but I know how to take a punch. Been hit a million times in a million different places.
Head, gut, kidney, nose- you name it and I have had the pleasure of making its acquaintance. It being a fist meeting flesh and though I have never enjoyed it, I always took what was given and returned the favor.
It was my way of saying thank you.
Alone On The Soccer Fields
The kids played soccer today. Two games, in two different places. Two different age groups. Two different sets of parents.
Yet I was alone.
It wasn’t because I was excluded, shunned or told to stay away.
I was alone by choice and by need.
There are things going on. Stuff is happening and I am doing what I do when there isn’t quite as much magic in the moment as there is mud.
I am walking through it, trudging when necessary and upon occasion scooping up handfuls and flinging it at the walls, passerbys and whatever else is around me
Never know what it will stick to.
Life Has Its Moments
Sometimes life has its moments where you visit familiar places and think about things that have happened there. There are weekends at the lake when you reminisce about people who once shared those moments with you and wonder about this and that.
It is not a bad thing or at least I never see it as such, but I am given to moments of introspection. I enjoy them and when they come to visit I do my best to say hi and then send them on their way.
What is done is done and the past can’t be changed but the future remains to be altered and or adjusted.
Looking Back as I Look Forward
I carry very few regrets but those I have are monsters that sometimes rear their heads. One in particular has reappeared and he has tried to break my spirit.
Won’t happen. I have taken too many punches and gotten back up too many times to worry about not being able to do it.
But the blog requires brutal honesty and I will provide it. Here is the summary:
A situation arose and I did the best I could to manage it. I made mistakes along the way but I made a lot of smart decisions too. There is a price to be paid for all of our actions and I am concerned about the bill for this one.
I am worried because it is not just me who has to pay for it and I don’t know how it will all shake out.
Experience tells me it will work out because I will manage it and I will find a way, but that doesn’t negate the concern. It merely makes it manageable.
There is a clip and a quote from Field of Dreams that I have shared here before. It is a favorite of mine and one that resonates with me. I’ll leave you with it and the reminder that I am doing the 30 days of blogging deal that so many other bloggers are doing.
Yep, I am posting every day for 30 days, sometimes multiple times a day.
See you in the morning.
“We just don’t recognize life’s most significant moments while they’re happening. Back then I thought, “Well, there’ll be other days”. I didn’t realize that that was the only day.” Dr. Archibald “Moonlight” Graham – Field of Dreams
Keeping going is what we do as parents. I never thought like that before I had kids.
Find me an easier way out and I’d more than likely take it. Funny how having kids can really sober things up and give some perspective on things.
Children change everything, but in a good way. I don’t mind how mine have turned life upside down.
I was sitting with my mom yesterday and told her I was tired, tired of stuff. But I laughed with her because I knew that I’d wake up today and do more of the same that I always do. Even though I’d love to crawl into bed and forget, I knew I’d have that sliver of hope nudging me to getup and move on.
The phrase “indomitable spirit” keeps coming to my mind.
Human beings are cool. At least I think so.
Have fun with the demons today. They hate when you laugh at them. 🙂
Hi Betsy,
Took your advice and have been laughing at the demons- feels good.
I am sorry for whatever it is 🙁 I love that quote though! Hope the tides turn soon!
Hi Stacie,
Thank you. I blog because it is cathartic so sometimes just writing is enough to make everything better.
You sound heavy hearted about something. I admire your drive to keep pushing, keep positive and persevere! Thanks for mentioning my post. It was a weird weekend. Lots of memories, change, things I liked, things I didn’t. Reflection like this weekend reminds me how in control I am of certain things in my life and the things that I have absolutely no control over. Sometimes the memory is enough and other times it’s not. I have to look forward though. It’s what feels right to me. Tough week ahead here in the neighborhood. Hope the things that have you unsettled have some sort of resolution or you find peace with them. Don’t think I’d want to be on the other end of those paws (if I were a guy). It would hurt. Hey! I may use this comment as a start to my post 11 for this month of 30 posts in 30 days.
Trouble,
There are only two choices go forward or quit and I only know how to do one. People are fun, they like to say they operate based upon logic but they rarely do. Not saying I am different either.
Hope your week improves too.
As for me, well I prefer to use these “paws” for what they are meant for and not what they are capable of. See you around the blogosphere.
there are certainly some things that we feel we must endure alone. I hope you keep trudging through and get to the other side.
Thank you Robbie. Sometimes no one but us can help get us through the challenging spots we find ourselves in.
I suppose hell is manageable if you look at it with the right kind of squint. But then again, Churchhill’s advice is sound enough, keep going.
Churchill was right. You keep going because you can’t go backwards or lie down. Quitting isn’t an option either.