That trophy is going right next to my 4th place finish in the Top 25 Sexiest Dad Bloggers, not on the left but on the right.
Now some of you might feel badly about this and wonder why you didn’t receive such an illustrious reward or why Babble does such a half ass job of picking their list of the best dad bloggers.
The good news is that it just doesn’t matter.
Repeat After Me- Watch and Be Motivated
Say it again, “It just doesn’t matter.”
All I Want To Do Is Write because it is what bloggers do. I don’t want to worry about things Bloggers Say During Sex because there are no rules in Social Media and you can make it anything you want.
Really, it is true. Figure out what it is you want to have happen and make it work for you.
If you want to have a serious discussion write posts like Is There A Benefit To Paying for Facebook Fans For Your FB Fan Page?, Two Things That Are Killing Twitter or Your Social Media Blog Is My Favorite Cure For Insomnia because people will engage with you.
Any time you blog about blogging you can guarantee that those posts will generate discussions.
If that is the kind of thing that floats your boat you can have a good time with it.
As for me, well I do enjoy that kind of thing but I like the personal stuff too. When I blogged about my grandfather’s death it got a ton of comments, tweets and emails. That is the kind of thing that has deeper meaning to me because they were heartfelt messages and I was grateful to receive them.
The communal response to tragedy and letters to our children touch me too.
But then again sometimes it is fun to be irreverent and silly. Sometimes I have to slip in posts like Do You Know About The Blog Cancellation Fees- Listen or You Are The Biggest Liar In Social Media for no other reason than because I can and I want to.
It Just Doesn’t Matter
When I find myself getting caught up in the silly trap of measuring myself against others I find their Facebook page, take a good look at their photo and then make fun of them. Sometimes I call them from a local payphone and tell them that a very bitter blogger is upset he doesn’t get 298 comments on every post and 233 likes but that it is o because they are fat and ugly.
Got to tell you that sometimes that doesn’t work out real well because they aren’t fat or ugly. It is even worse when I find out that they aren’t stupid either in which case I just hope that they are impotent or very poorly hung.
Yeah, us men can be juvenile sometimes, can’t we.
Ok, there might be some exaggeration in some of that. I might be better served by sharing something like  What matters to me is becoming a better writer, building relationships, learning more about myself/life and having a good time while blogging.
The stuff in the bold and italics is really how I feel, but damn sometimes it feels good to just unload and write without censorship.
Just Write
Just write is my motto and my mantra.
It is not always easy to do because sometimes people are offended when they read things like “Some of you are in dire need of a week of oral sex, enemas and brain transplants” and I wonder if I am killing potential business opportunities.
But the thing is that when I let go of the self censorship and just write good things happen. Writing jobs come, relationships develop and I have more fun which is what blogging should be.
And that my friends is all I have to say about that for now…
P.S. I would love for more people to go read The Search For Absolution, will you take a couple of moments to check it out?
Hey there
I’ve come to the same conclusion as you over the past few weeks. Just write… And that’s what I love about your blog. There’s plenty to keep me coming back and more!
Hi Tim,
I can only speak for me, but when I “just write” I feel like the words are freer flowing and the posts are more interesting.
Jack, my friend,
The events of this past week have put everything in perspective for me.
Your line, “Figure out what it is you want to have happen and make it work for you,” is just about perfect. I would just change it slightly, from “figure out what it is you want to have happen” to “figure out what it is you want to DO,”…I won a big blogging award two years ago and I can honestly say that it didn’t change my life. Yeah, I got a bunch of new subscribers, but it didn’t drive me blog or its message.
I think you have exactly the right attitude. Do what it is you are called to do and the rest will take care of itself. You are very talented. Just keep putting your awesome stuff out there. : )
P.S. From time to time, I get that fleeting feeling of jealousy. Why does that A-list blogger get recognition and a bazillion comments for something that I said 3 months ago on my blog? So, yes, we are all human in that way.
Hi Judy,
Your phrasing is better than mine. ‘Do’ is good because it is active and decisive. It is also so very important.
I appreciate the compliment and vote of confidence and with some work/luck we’ll get to where ever it is we are going. There are people who want to read our books.
BTW, I never believe people when they say they never feel jealousy about other blogs. If it happens periodically it is not a bad thing, it is only a problem if it is consistent.
I think that for anyone to get to the point where”it” doesn’t matter, they first have to experience NOT getting it or getting it and losing it.
Until then, it usually matters, unless it never did – if it didn’t match a person’s values to begin with.
My mind searches for ways to preserve itsel from implosion. Whenever failure is iminent or repetitive it finds a reason why “it just doesn’t matter.”
However, when it comes to being yourself, it’s a lot more fun to let loose and let go of worry of the consequences, good, bad, or imagined.
I wish you’d write the next chapter of “In Search of Absolution.” It’s an interesting story.
Hi Betsy,
I wrote the second part, but I don’t know that I like it very much. Might have to tweak it. It is over at the WeloveJack blog.
It is definitely much more fun to just let loose. Life is far too short to always censor our selves.
Now I know, more than ever why I love you as a blogger. Just continue to do what you do, Jack. Trophies are fine, for the moment. Inside the skin is a bigger priority.
🙂 To use a crazy-overused word, you are awesome. Hugs!
Hi Vidya,
Thank you. I try not to take all this stuff too seriously, can’t say I am always successful, but…
Blogging shouldn’t be solely about boosting our egos, unless it is my ego in which case everyone else comes second. Wait, did I just say that out loud…. 😉
Ego massages can be very very rejuvenating. 🙂 I got one recently. No.7 in the top 50 personal development bloggers of 2012, no less. Why, I wondered. Feel good? Definitely. And so I move on, doing what I do best 😀
(Call me a dumbass, but I always wonder at checking the box when I read “What is your quest?”)
Hi Vidya,
“What is your quest” is a Monty Python reference. It is just something silly that made me laugh.
Ohhhh!. I can’t believe I was so braindead I didn’t think of that! 😀 Yes, makes sense now. 😀 Although – Sunday afternoon and I feel like a beached whale after a huge lunch followed by a triple Sundae. Burrppp!