The best part of making resolutions is breaking them and I blame the blog for helping me remember which ones I fell short on.
It burns me up a bit to admit that I haven’t hit the mark and that I am not pumping out 500 push-ups each day or that book I told Stephen King about hasn’t materialized yet.
Let’s be honest A Fool Frolics Freely but the wise man does more than just dance in the fire, he makes a plan and sticks to it or so I once believed.
When I look back at the past couple of years the blog shows me that 2010 wasn’t great and that I was hopeful 2011 would be better. Well, if you look at Words You Won’t Read you’ll see I wanted to call that post 2011- You Were a Real Motherfucker.
What About 2012
2012 was a damn sight better than 2010 and 2011 but still not what I wanted it to be. 2012 fell short in multiple areas but not all of that happened because I broke the resolutions I made.
But let’s not waste time listing all the resolutions that didn’t happen or going over all of the reasons why it wasn’t or was not my fault because some of that just doesn’t matter.
Resolutions are promises we make to ourselves or at least that is how I view New Years resolutions so when we break them we are hurting the most important person in our life.
Yeah, I know that sounds backwards to some people and that some of you are scratching your heads. Some of you are thinking about how your children, spouse/partner or other family member are the most important person in your life and wondering how I could be so selfish.
Well the answer is simple.
You can’t take care of anyone else if you can’t take care of yourself.
Moms Are Awful About This
Read through a dozen mommy blogs and you’ll find multiple posts from moms who complain about doing everything for everyone else and nothing for themselves. It drives me nuts to see these posts because I don’t understand why you don’t find ways to give yourself a moment here and there.
I am not talking about spa days, massages, or shopping trips. What I am referring to is the no cost moment to yourself.
Since I have multiple weeks where the kids attend Camp Dad and I have been responsible for taking care of the kids and working I am confident that I know something about this.
Still I am also confident that some of the mothers are busy cursing my name but hopefully they aren’t wasting good wine by tossing it at the screen.
A Question That Remains Unanswered and Probably Shall Remain As Such
I really want to know Why Must Stupidity Be Contagious. If I had the answer one of my resolutions would be to work on ridding the world of the stupid gene/bug which would be really good for everyone.
If I accomplished that I feel secure in saying I would make enough cash from doing so to spend real time writing the books that I resolved to write and maybe even buy the castle that I haven’t managed to acquire yet.
That raises the question of what happens to broken resolutions that are fulfilled later on. Is there a statute of limitations upon them? Do we still get full credit or just partial?
Someone please tell me because it is after midnight which means January 2nd has rolled around and I am beginning to feel like I am behind the eight ball again.
Did I mention that the only 8 ball I really like is the Magic 8 Ball?
That Magic 8 Ball is wonderful. It has been a trusted advisor for years. Back in high school I asked it two questions about Anne Stacey:
- Did she love me?
- Would she sleep with me?
I’ll let you guess what was most important to me at 18. Anyhoo, the wonderful ball responded with ‘Ask again later’ and ‘reply hazy, try again’ which was exceptionally helpful because everyone knows how decisive some 18 year-old women can be.
Did You Make Any Resolutions?
All that narishkeit above leads us right back to the topic of resolutions. Did you make any for 2013 and are they the sort of thing that you really believe you will fulfill?
I made three but I am not going to write about them and not because I am afraid to share them either. I think they are more likely to be filled by keeping them to myself. What I will say is they are health and work related and that I expect good things to come from them.
What about you?
Haha! I love the magic 8 ball 🙂
And good for you for not writing down your resolutions. I don’t do resolutions b/c I feel I should live them year round and official resolutions seem to be too easily broken.
The Magic 8 Ball is the best- smartest tool for figuring out the answers to any and all questions.
Thank you for not sharing your resolutions! Fed up of those posts already 😛
As for the no cost time for yourselves, plus 1 for that idea.
The best and worst times I’ve ever had have been in my head, a moments flight of imagination or allowing the fears to grip for too long.
Reading (or writing) or just day dreaming, its all the same and the biggest luxury I afford myself, I wish everyone could get the same from it as I do 🙂
Great post, thanks!
The best horror movies are always based on the viewer’s imagination.
We can’t come up with anything scarier or happier than what we see our mind.
I don’t make resolutions. Instead, I like to look at where I am at and where I want to be, and then make the necessary adjustments. I also like to focus on some goals for the year, which isn’t about ‘I promise to do this’ or “I promise not to do that’, but more about what I would like to accomplish during that year.
That makes sense to me. It takes away some of the pressure but still motivates you to keep working.
I have one new years resolution. It is to never look back at things that cannot be undone. I waste a lot of time and emotions doing that. It never makes any difference. I’d rather move on and do better.
I like that, always look forward
Damn. I absolutely don’t make resolutions. That’s like telling myself I’m not perfect just the way I am. Actually, it’s because I hate setting myself up to fail. Who needs that? I may secretly bat a few ideas around in my head for what I may or may not feel like working on in the coming year. If I were so inclined. Great post- I found you from your comment on Vanita’s blog. I had to come see what a mutant frog writes about.
Hi Jeanette,
Vanita’s awesome. Her blog is chock full of useful information and I appreciate that.
I hear you about not setting yourself up to fail- it is low on my list too which may or may not be tied into why I don’t broadcast my resolutions. 😉
Hope you come back again.
I am absolutely with you on the “make time for yourself” front. It makes you a better parent, a better spouse and a better person. How is that wrong? Plus, no one likes a martyr.
Hey Kathleen,
Exactly. No one likes a martyr and no one wants to listen. Time is tricky, but somehow we have to find bits and pieces for ourselves.
I stay up really late at night to get time to myself. It means I’m in a permanent haze of exhaustion, but at least I get some time to myself.
Hi Azara,
I understand the permanent state of exhaustion better than I want to.
My only resolution is to survive the spring. We’re headed into hubby’s busy work/travel season, which causes immense stress. And we’re in the process of losing hubby’s dad to cancer, so that is weighing heavily upon us. If we can make it until April intact, I foresee a lovely summer and fall. But until then, I’ve got to batten down the hatches…
Hi IaSoupMama,
I am sorry to hear about your husband’s father, that can’t be easy at all. I wish you strength. Hope that April comes quickly for you.
I have several for 2013, and I am not going to break any of them (I know that I say that every year, but this year it’s different. I know that I say that every year as well…) 2013 will be my year of creating small healthy habits. I believe that it’s easier to not break them, because I am focusing on one habit at a time, and they are small. During January, I will not drink Coca-Cola, that’s how small they are 🙂
Hi Jens,
I like your approach this year. It sounds far more manageable and more likely to generate the kind of results you are looking for.
I resolved to drink more coffee and go on more dates with my husband. I agree with you that mom’s are bad at taking care of ourselves. I also think too many couples put their kids before their relationship. So, the hubs and I are going to date more this year. Some will be the no cost kind, too; talking fireside, nice dinners in after the little ones are in bed, games of Scrabble, etc. All the best with your unmentionables (your resolutions, that is.)
Hi Kristin,
I love coffee far more than I should. Your resolution is one that I can get behind. Actually I can get behind all of them.
Kids are really important but if we don’t find ways to take care of ourselves it is becomes really easy to resent them, even when we know it is not really their fault.
I loved the use of the word narishkeit. Learned a new word today! 🙂
I don’t keep resolutions because for me when I set my mind on changing some habit or accomplishing something then I get to work right away; irrespective of what the day is.
Happy New Year! 🙂
Hi Hajra,
I like your attitude about resolutions. That makes perfect sense to me.
I adore that you used the word narishkeit. I don’t made resolutions as a rule. I usually sign up for some long running races in the summer and since I need to train for them, it gives me the motivation to get out and run a few times a week. But I generally declare my training season open in the middle of December rather than at the beginning of January, so when New Years rolls around I am not starting something new, but rather continuing something that has already begun.
Hi Samantha,
Narishkeit is one of my favorite words. We can always rely on Yiddish to provide us with some great terms, expressions.
It sounds like you are pretty disciplined about running. That is cool. I think one of the tricks to life in general is figuring out where we are disciplined and where we aren’t so that we can focus on our strengths.
I made a bunch last year and only accomplished a few. This year, I have about 3 in my head. And I don’t think I’ll do a post, like last year, documenting what they are. They aren’t huge and two are repeats from last year. I’m feeling more comfortable with this.
Hey! I met you around this time last year. What do you know? Time flies!!!
Hi Gina,
I suspect you aren’t the only one to say that. Three sounds like a pretty reasonable number, easy to work with, at least in theory. 😉
Yeah, time does move pretty darn quickly.
Well if you’re not sharing then neither am I 😉 Actually, I’m not big into New Year’s resolutions, but I would like to stay injury-free this year. That would be nice.
Hi TriGirl,
Injury free is a worth goal.
Yes, I made one. I shall be the world’s best girlfriend this year. Easily attainable.
Hi Gia,
Very cool. I wish you much success in fulfilling that one.
No resolutions made here. Life has a way of showing me what needs to be done and where I can grow.
One thing about mom’s taking care of themselves- they have to accept that their family never wants them to take a break. They will always be upset. I have to take my break early in the morning, while everyone’s asleep. I’d go crazy without alone time.
In a way that was a resolution I made to myself 2 years ago- to take time for myself, doing what I love, let the chis fall where they may. And the chips fell. But I’m okay. And I think my kids secretly admire me.
Don’t share your resolutions. They’ll lose power.
Hi Betsy,
You are right. Families always expect moms to be on, regardless of age or time. Sometimes when I call my mom she’ll complain to me about it. I tell her to talk to my sisters so she and all the other moms can start a group. 😉
I think it is great you take time for yourself. It is really important.