Monday morning was an unwelcome and unwanted sight to to me today and so I pulled out the screenshot of a tweet from not that long ago.
It was tongue-in-cheek but today it feels far more serious than it did when I first wrote it, or so I think.  Memory isn’t always as accurate as we might need, want or wish so perhaps things are better now than they were then.
Haven’t had any coffee yet and have the kind of stomach ache that makes me want to smash a hammer against my toe.
It is all tied into waiting to hear from someone.
Patience is What Is Needed
Patience is what is needed now but we are in short supply of it. Some of that can be attributed to limited sleep and the frustration of not being able to do more than wait.
If my children faced this moment I would tell them to stay busy and try not to think about things because there comes a moment where you have done all you can do and you have to let the game come to you.
But I am not talking about my children so I am the one who knows precisely what to do and is keenly aware that I am not doing it. I am not a control freak and most of the time I do pretty well about taking things as they come but today it is not happening.
Have to stop staring at my inbox willing the email to come because that doesn’t work any better than grabbing my phone and trying to use the force to make it ring.
Exercise Is Part of The Cure
Exercise is part of the cure for this silly condition and I am desperately hoping to play ball tonight. The battle on the boards always makes me feel better, but I can’t sit still until then so I am going to hit the treadmill and weights for a bit.
Speaking of such things I took a hard look in the mirror today and was disappointed because I am not where I want to be.
Been trying to decide if the mental image I see in my mind is a realistic goal or just a pipe dream.
It is not because I can’t look that way again but because I haven’t made the commitment to do so.
The image I see is twenty-years old and enormous changes have taken place since then.
Excuses and Reasons
There is a voice inside my head that tells me to figure out what is a reason and what is an excuse because they both have to be managed.
Twenty years ago I was single and had no responsibility to anyone other than myself. Twenty years ago I could spend two hours at the gym and do it five days a week without concern about consequences.
I can’t see a way to do that daily now. Work and family responsibilities take precedence but that doesn’t mean that I can’t do better than I have done.
My biggest and most vocal critic is me so that question is what can I do to make that critic shut up.
And that is part of why I am thinking about excuses and reasons. It is why I am thinking about what I want for myself and what I am willing to commit to so that the things I want don’t remain sitting out there is in ether unreached and unavailable.
Ring Phone, Ring
Still staring at the phone, trying to will it into ringing. Still refreshing my inbox in search of the news I am waiting for .
Silence and and empty inbox are all that I have right now so it is time to push myself away from the keyboard and build some sweat equity. I have done all that I can do and have done best I could.
Only time will tell if it is enough or not.
Patience, though, is only one piece of the puzzle.
I really like Joseph Addison’s quote:
“I do not believe that sheer suffering teaches. If suffering alone taught, all the world would be wise, since everyone suffers. To suffering must be added mourning, understanding, patience, love, openness and the willingness to remain vulnerable.”
Willingness to remain vulnerable? That’s the last thing men want, but I guess it is what it is!
That is a really good quote, can’t say I knew it before today, but I am glad I do.
I always thought that I would stop waiting when I got older. But, that didn’t happen, or at least not yet. I blame technology. I like to blame something other than myself. When I was a kid, I didn’t have a mobile phone, and I didn’t have a computer connected to the internet. I waited 30 minutes just for a game to load on my commodore 64. And I didn’t have a problem with it. Now, I can’t wait for 2 minutes, because I expect everything to be fast.
Hi Jens,
I expected a lot of things to change when I “grew up.” I always figured that grownups had a very easy life where they could do what they wanted, when they wanted to.
Who knew how wrong I was. 😉
Technology has definitely had an impact on our patience.
Hi Jack!
I always equate the waiting, or the inability to wait patiently (for anything!) with my ego drive. Or maybe just drive.
The reason I am who I am, and have what I have (whatever that is) is due in large part to this drive.
So when its driving my crazy like this, I try to welcome it, and sort of be thankful for it, because without it I’d be asleep on the sofa with a beer instead of spending time with the kids or working after my real job is done, or trying to train or whatever else!
Not everyone has it, but it does drive you crazy sometimes!
Hope it pays off for you this time
Tony
Hi Tony,
That is an excellent approach and one I am going to try to adopt for myself.
May things work out much better than you expect, Jack.
Hi Stan,
And you for you as well.
We seem to live parallel lives a lot of the time I am also waiting on things that I have no control over, but which could change my entire life. Yep just waiting to hear…
The waiting is the hardest part. Say yes, say no, just say something.