The title of this shot is I’m open for you. It is both interesting and appropriate for the moment.
I took big chunk of work home this evening and tried to take care of that and respond to questions a dear friend had for me. Intermixed with all this I called a friend to express my condolences at the death of his father-in-law and spoke to my children several different times.
It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say I was juggling multiple things and multiple people. Nor would it be wrong to say that my friend and I managed to aggravate each other. If you asked me for a simple explanation I would say it was because we talked past each other and didn’t hear what the other said.
Can You Deliver A Heartfelt Apology While Juggling?
The answer is probably no. You can’t focus on the person and tell them you are sorry when you are doing multiple things at once.
If I could I would look them in the eye right now and say I am sorry that I upset them and would hope they would take two things from it:
- My sincerity.
- My growth.
Here is the deal, I don’t like apologizing, I never have. It is not necessarily something I am good at, but I have been working at it. So I would hope they would recognize that I am not apologizing just to do so nor am I asking that they recognize my “growth” because I am asking for “points or anything like that.
It is more of a comment in some ways that many things have changed in a lot of areas on both sides and many of them are quite good.
And from a different angle my growth has made it easier for me to apologize without feeling like I am being wronged in the process. It might sound juvenile but part of why I didn’t like apologizing was I hated being made to feel like I had to do so to move on when I felt like I hadn’t done anything wrong.
What About This Time?
This time they asked for information from me and I didn’t feel like I could give it to them easily so I asked to do things in a slightly different way. And then as talked past each other and grew irritated I lost sight of an opportunity.
You see if I hadn’t been juggling I would have figured out how to provide more of answer that they would have found satisfying. But because I was juggling I saw things in a more linear perspective and felt like I wouldn’t be able to explain things the way I wanted to.
The funny thing about this is that I very much want to tell them the entire story. I want them to hear all of the details so this is not a matter of my trying to be difficult, insouciant or anything other than forthcoming.
The Bottom Line
The bottom line or net result is really case of good intentions gone awry. It turned what had been a very pleasant exchange into something annoying for both of us. So this is me saying I am sorry for that.
I’ll take responsibility for this time and for what happened. I would prefer to apologize in person, but that is not possible at the moment so this is what I have got.
I am sorry.
Multi-tasking can lead only to multi-mistakes. Good for you to apologize. But more important, to recognize the importance of being “present”…in the moment…focused. When we’re all over the map, we’re not at our best. Kudos to you for doing something that’s not easy for you to do. Cheers! Kaarina
Hi Kaarina,
I have really taken to trying to appreciate and be a part of the moments. It makes a huge difference in enjoyment and quality of life.
I can relate to this more than I’d like. I was telling someone just this morning that I feel as though I’m spinning plates and desperately trying not to drop them. Hopefully your friend will take a deep breath and understand that the timing was off and yet the intentions were good.
Hi Bridget,
I sometimes wonder if we really are busier than our parents were. All these spinning plates make me a bit crazy sometimes.
Hope your day was good.
A heartfelt apology and I’m sure it helped to write it down.
I hope your friend gets to read it!
Hi Tim,
Yeah, it felt good to write it down. Hopefully they saw it.
I’m always juggling and have a hard time focusing on what is really needed in the moment when what I hear is “more juggling required.” I’m getting better but far from perfect at understanding that everyone is juggling and rarely as present as we all need to be. So, it’s also getting easier and necessary to forgive the arguments and misunderstandings. Me? I have to learn to keep my mouth shut! LOL….let the moment unwind il I figure out the real need without my emotional reactions mixed in!
And…you’re simple “sorry” was perfect…so much better than a sorry with an explanation. Explanations can follow once someone can really feel your heartfelt apology.
Good job!
Hi Betsy,
I hear you. I also think there is can be a difference between how the genders apologize and what they want/expect to come from it.
But sincerity is important, that is for sure.