“Your blog makes me want to defecate in a bag” has got to be the strangest comment I have ever received. How do you respond to that? Is it an insult or a compliment?
I admit to momentarily being stumped which is why I tried to figure out if he was referring to a post called, A Little Digestive Distress- Chicken Vindaloo but even I couldn’t figure out how it related.
So I sent him a response encouraging he/she to follow through and then to be certain to place their head inside the bag afterward.
Was that rude?
The Blogging Apocalypse
Is this a sign of the blogging apocalypse? Have we reached a point in time in which civility has completely disappeared online and scatological humor is verboten.
Should I have asked them to record their movement on Vine so that I could post it and call that proof of their being a social media expert.
Summer is an odd time in the blogosphere. It is the moment when commenting slows down dramatically and traffic dies down. Many bloggers have remarked upon the drop in comments and wondered about it.
Some say it is because there are too many distractions and that people are busy using other platforms or talk about How Some People Are Using Triberr To Kill Blogging.
But not me, I still say it is time of year and that blogging is alive and well, at least I did until I received that comment.
Worse Than Death Threats
Maybe it is the combination of a good cigar, a margarita and Scotch, but that comment was worse than the death threats I received and the promises to have my kids removed.
BTW, no exaggeration on either one of those. Try blogging about politics and religion and the crazies show up who I might add hate my freedom and that I believe in circumcision and am a Zionist.
Yeah, I just antagonized a few by putting that last line in but if they don’t like it they can defecate in a bag and wear it on their heads too.
Seriously, I am gobsmacked by the comment and am probably spending too much time wondering what to make of it. Not sure why I even care, but I do.
Where Do We Go From Here
Where do we go from here? Do I write about how I think we should say Happy Holidays and that there is no War on Christmas. Should I talk about how to monetize a blog or how I can’t decide which of my posts are my favorites.
Maybe I should tell the new readers that I had my filter surgically removed and that I am an insouciant dad blogger who enjoys defenestrating people who aggravate me.
Or maybe you should know that anything categorized or described as narishkeit is nonsense.
I blog at the speed of me and do so because I love to write and you can’t become a better writer without practicing.
Things That Worry Me
I am not concerned about the zombie apocalypse but am aggravated that Hollywood keeps remaking the same movies. Hell, they can hire me to write a script and if they don’t like what I write they can defecate in a bag and then wear it.
BTW, I can assure you that my biggest fan, the Shmata Queen is laughing while she reads this and will do so even when I insult her beloved cleveland, home of the burning river and sports teams that cannot win.
But it is not as bad as Detroit which isn’t saying much.
All I know is that if I set foot in either city the general populace might riot or defecate in a bag and wear it on their heads.
Course it doesn’t take much to start a riot in Detroit, just a match and an abandoned building.
But what really worries me is the stamp on the bag of chocolate covered pretzels I bought at Target today. It says best by January 9, 2014.
WTF did I just eat?
Am I going to wake up and find out my insides have been embalmed.
Blogging Isn’t Going To Die
Blogging isn’t going to die any time soon, if ever. Hell if I have to keep the medium alive myself I can and will do so.
I need a place to share my stories, the sad, the silly and the sublime.
So have no fear my friends, sometimes we take this and life too seriously. And if you don’t like that, well you know what you can do.
Happy 4th of July to you all.
You have made your case very well. For every person who is talking about the death of blogging, they fail to see, that new readers, are turning away from other forms of media and just now finding a new source of content. Like me today with your post.Â
You made me think, laugh and respond. Don’t stop just because most of your readers do not reply and only read.
fdgifford Thanks, I appreciate it. I write first for me, but I always want to make my readers smile too.
I’ve come to believe that the whole “blogging is dying” thing is just people being bored and having nothing better to talk about… I’ve been doing it for 15 years (longer than it’s been a word, in fact) and I’ve found that it ebbs and flows… People come and people go. Maybe a few less people comment nowadays because they’re more interested in Twitter and Facebook. But I think the whole blogging thing is here to stay, like it or not.
It has changed dramatically over what it used to be, but dying, not quite.
i loved your response to that comment. perfect! and i think when you stop writing about the stuff you want, no matter what the topic, is when blogging is dead. write on!
Thanks. Couldn’t agree more.
I’m currently living in a tent by the ocean, and I’m still blogging. So, like you, I don’t think blogging is going away. But, I can see all the distractions with all the various social media plattforms. But, my blog is my home, and that’s the difference.
Hi Jens,
That sounds really nice to me, a tent by the see. I’d love that.
Oh I forgot about the summer lull. That has to be the strangest comment. Seems like that would be more unpleasant for the commenter than for you. In fact, I don’t think it would affect you in any way. What a weirdo.
Yeah, we get the summer and winter lull. That was a weird comment, definitely among the strangest ever.
Wow, nothing I’ve ever read has made me want to “defecate in a bag”. I think you should take it as a compliment. They were *moved* by your words.
Hi Karen,
I think I will take your advice. 🙂
Damn. I want a huge fan named “Shmata Queen.”
🙂
Well you might find one. All I know is that mine can’t stay away from me, it is animal magnetism I tell you. 😉
First rule of Dad Blogging… We DO NOT talk about dad blogging… but awesome post, my friend. I too get some awesome hate mail and comments.
That is a new rule, I never follow new rules. 😉
That’s a lot of defecation! Just ignore it…
Hi Stacie,
It came from 49er guy at Candlestickforever.com so I don’t know, as a Raiders fan… 😉
WHAT? I can’t believe a 49er fan would be so horrid. Maybe it had more to do with you being a Raider…
Re the war on Christmas….I went off on a silly, purely comical rant about Santa and the death threats were not wanting. People are so willing to be insulted by anything. Its enough to make you want to crap in a bag.
Dammit, I can never find a bag when I need it.
Hey Joe,
I can help you out if you want. 😉
I’m going dancing tonight! First time in 25 years. Cures everything and requires less strength than throwing people out of windows does!
Then I might attend the funeral for the Blogosphere. I know my presence is mandatory. But what to wear?
Hi Betsy,
I hope you had a great time dancing. Was it really the first time in 25 years?
Yes, it has been that long! And we didn’t go. I found out at 9pm that plans had fallen apart and we’d make more soon.
I’ve had no desire to go out because the crowds are younger and I couldn’t picture having fun. But when we danced at the 4th of July cookout in the back yard my daughter said, “You have to come out with us sometime!” So we made a plan for us girls (5 of us) to go.
I’ll let you know how it goes!
Happy 4th! Don’t sweat the small stuff and that’s clearly someone with a very small brain with nothing better to do but write lame comments.
Hi Bridget,
Yeah, the small brain folk love me, they might give the T-Rex a run for his money on brain size. 😉
Damn, I was hoping it was dead. At least until fall. Let me know if you need help keeping it alive, because I can throw the odd post up from time to time.
Thanks, Jack. For the post, and the suggestion of people wearing shitbags, because my dreams aren’t strange enough.
Hi Birdman,
Although I can be prolific, I think diversity is good so I definitely need your help. Keep throwing out those posts.
Any time you need to hear about shitbags you let me know. 😉
I enjoyed this, my friend, it was quite an interesting bunch of tangents.
I do not think blogging is going to die, either, so we are on the same page there.
And wtf is wrong with people who leave you these ridiculous comments? For real? They need to get over themselves if they are thinking your words are about them in any way. Except this one, I suppose. But yet again, I believe you get me.
Cheers, my dear, and happy fourth!
Hi Andrea,
I bring out the meshugehnehs, they love me. I can’t figure out why, just know that it happens.
Hope you had a great holiday.
Darn. I was seriously expecting something much crazier than this after the large margarita AND scotch. Happy 4th of July!
You should have seen the first draft. 😉