One cigar and two shots later I am back at the computer trying to come up with a polite way to remind people that when the majority of your output is negative you kill my interest in spending time with you.
All that negativity is sucking the life out of me and I am not interested in spending time with energy vampires.
I understand how life can get rough and that you are upset. It is important to vent and share your feelings so that you don’t explode but there is a balance to these things and it is affected by your relationship with others.
Negative Energy Can Be Unhealthy
My willingness to help you deal with your negative energy is impacted by our relationship and my understanding of your willingness to take steps to improve your situation.
A former friend of mine never had a good thing to say about anyone or anything. If you asked him about his job all he would do was complain and tell you the boss was an asshole.
His wife was a bitch and her parents were worse. The car sucked, kids whined and life in general was just bad and unlikely to get better. And if you dared to shine a light on good things you were told you were a naive fool.
I got tired of listening to his whining, especially because he never did a thing to change his situation. If your marriage is horrible and all you do is fight go to counseling or get divorced, stop yapping about it.
Don’t like your job? Find another one or do something else to improve the situation.
I am no saint and I understand nothing happens overnight but I can’t accept not trying to change things. That sort of negative energy is unhealthy.
Online And In Person
Overdosing on negativity can be just as harmful and tedious in the online world as in person. You can only absorb so much before it starts to weigh you down.
It is funny to me that I am writing this because a while back I would have called this new age bullshit and told people there was nothing to it, but experience has taught me otherwise.
I have learned that when you are immersed in this kind of energy it sucks you dry and leaves you feeling spent in the kind of way that makes you want to bang your head against the wall.
Attitude really does go a long way which is part of why I try harder than I used to remind myself about how I can impact my life and those who hang out with me.
And I can look back at some moments and have a greater appreciation for some special people who never let go when almost all I had to give was negative.
Gratitude is what try to have more of and focus upon and those people make it easy for me.
I get it. I’m still learning. It’s a still a challenge.
Gina1Â You could always walk 500 miles and see if that helps. 😉
Am nodding vigorously with this post. I think because writers are mostly creative types we are like emotional sponges. That helps us find inspiration. But it’s downside is just what you described. We suck up all that negativity if we spend to much time swimming with those who live there.
SouthMainMuse That is a great description. So many of us are like sponges so it is easy to get caught in the garbage.
I have actually thought about joining a membership site to always have motivation to do what I want to be doing and to keep myself from being negative. I don’t want to be one of those people who are always complaining. I know the feeling 🙂
Jens-Petter Berget I don’t see you as the kind of guy who spends all of his time complaining.
TheJackBÂ I’m not. But, sometimes I need help to stay motivated.
The funny thing is that bitching can be high hilarity in the right company, or leave you wanting to kill yourself trying to get away in others. Yeah the company you keep is critical to your well-being.
Julie Barrett There is much truth in that.
Did my wife ghost write this post for you?
jcereola I am not saying. 😉
There is nothing more frustrating to me than someone who is forever venting and fooling themselves into thinking they’re doing more than that. If all you can do is b**** then something is definitely not working. If
its not working then it’s time to actually do something
else.
zoebyrd2Â Excactly. Make a move or stop kvetching.
Ding ding ding, we have a winner! I totally believe in supporting friends who are going through a hard time. However, there comes a time when you have to let them go if all they are going to do is complain instead of trying to make changes for the better.
TheNewElizabeth It never fails to surprise me how many people are willing to stay in bad situations rather than try to improve them. Change is scary, but there comes a point in time…
If you’re not willing to change it, you’re not allowed to bitch about it.
KristenDaukas Exactly. That is what makes me craziest. I don’t mind some venting as long as you are willing to do something about it.