The last night of Chanukah has come and gone and my kids are finally in bed, hopefully asleep and I am back at the computer preparing to do the work that pays the bills.
But before I can get to it I need to clear my head of the chaos and confusion that is currently occupying the space between my ears rent free.
I figured I might as well focus on something simple and unrelated to work and then I’ll simply shift gears and take care of that other stuff. So in a moment we’ll talk about comment systems and crap flinging monkeys but before we do here is a link to The Maccabeats singing Book of Good Life.
No, it is not a Chanukah song but I like it but if you really want another Chanukah song here is Matisyahu singing Miracle. But to be honest the song of the evening is Can’t Find My Way Home.
Comment Systems and Crap Flinging Monkeys
About six hours ago my daughter and I were at Trader Joes when I had a close encounter of the crap flinging monkey kind. I accidentally bumped a woman with the basket I was carrying and was instantly attacked.
This crap flinging monkey didn’t give me a chance to apologize. She automatically lashed out and called me out for being rude. I was going to apologize but when she did the old monkey on the back thing I responded in kind.
It was a mistake. In the online world we would have said I was feeding the trolls, but what bothered me the most was that I reacted like that in front of my daughter.
We walked away and I told her I had made a mistake and explained that I should have smiled and apologized but added that when we want people to respond pleasantly it is usually smarter not to lash out.
I thought about this because one of the reasons I turned off CommentLuv was that I kept getting slammed with spam and troll bait. I got tired of it so I decided to go a different direction.
And now that I have spent several months using the Comments Evolved plugin I am playing around with making the change again because comments have slowed to a trickle here.
The Source of That Trickle
The source of that trickle isn’t necessarily one thing. You could say that some of it is because people like to get a link for their comment and this system doesn’t offer that.
You could say that things always slow down during the holiday system or you could say it is because I don’t comment on many blogs anymore and consequently people have forgotten about this joint.
Alternatively it might be the content or maybe it is a combination of everything.
I suppose the ultimate question here is do I really care about comments and if so, what am I willing to do make a change. Will applying a new system have an impact or will I have to try to find more time to comment on other blogs.
My gut is that the lack of commenting elsewhere is the primary issue and that everything else is secondary.
Things That Matter
Got to tell you that I keep thinking about Superman Sam and how unfair life can be. Been thinking about what it must feel like to be 8 and to know you don’t have much longer and then I wonder how his parents are doing.
Wonder about it because I am built to protect my children. If you know me well you know it is not an exaggeration to say I will take the bullet for the kids or step in front of the bus.
It is not because I am tough or macho it is because I am their father and it is tied up in my DNA. It is just part of who I am,
So I think about his folks and wish I could offer more than just words to help because I can’t conceive of being in their position. I just know it would be awful and that my ability to grant wishes is far too limited.
The point is that the desire for more comments doesn’t really matter but life does and so do the people we love. Part of my way of trying to honor Sam and his family is to share the story and to make a point to be present in my life.
To make a point to do what I can to spend time and do important things with those who matter to me. If I can do that then I can go to sleep knowing the crap flinging monkeys haven’t gotten the best of me and that is worth more than you know.
zoebyrd2Â That is a good answer and I appreciate it. Makes a lot of sense to me.
geez I wish I said that. That’s perfect and exactly what I meant.
There are times like this when your priorities mean there is no time for commenting or facebooking or whatever. Maybe that will change and maybe it won’t. It’s more important to find your way home.
oh hey, and don’t let the crap flingers bring you down. I was in the grocery store the other day and a woman just sneered “get out of my way to me..” smiled and said “Wow I’m sorry you’re having such a bad day …apologize for being in her way …”hope it gets better…cuz you might do that to the wrong person.” see even when I’m kind i can’t seem to avoid the snarky!
hi jack,so about the comment thing, I used to comments quite a bit… well as much as I do. I don’t think I consciously stopped. I consciously realized I had stopped when we were involved in the journal thing. But I can honestly tell you that it’s not about you’re commenting back and forth to me… it’s more about me. There’s a shocker huh? I’m never surprised to find out that something I thought was about me is actually about the other person. What happens is because I subscribe to your email, I lurk quite a bit but don’t really ever get around to commenting because I’m a be in a rush or I’m just not feeling particularly verbose. there are different reasons that I comment different places ….for example I come into quite a bit at the Wakefield Doctrine because it tends to be more of a conversation then just an arbitrary comments back and forth sort of thing. My own blog I tend to comment but I find myself sometimes with the silly little pat responses that don’t feel very satisfying. And then there’s Superman Sam where I don’t comment really at all because sometimes I think we’ll what the hell could I possibly say?and their sites like so many of the ones that I visit including yours give me real perspective and that’s why I keep going there. I don’t know if that’s helpful I hope it is and I’ll try my best if I feel I have something pertinent to say. I’m glad you had a peaceful Hannukah.I always love to hear about your kidsand I know what you mean mine is married and off on his own and I would still take a bullet for him.