One year later nothing has changed and yet everything is different.
“Wanderlust is a part of my heart and that restless need to find out what lies just around the bend or behind the door doesn’t always accept playing it safe.”
This time last year I sat in a hotel room trying wondering what I had gotten myself into. I had moved from Los Angeles to Texas to take a position in an office I had never been to before to work with people I had met on Skype and via email.
I had been to the Stockyards during the Fort Worth Stock and Rodeo Show and watched real cowboys wander down the street, seen Texas longhorn driven before me and known the great adventure had just begun.
It was hard being away from the family but I didn’t think it made sense to pull the kids from school midyear and have them start over, at least not until I was certain Texas was where I wanted to be.
And now a year later I am back in Los Angeles working remotely and thinking about how to move us all back to Texas. Â Spent a long time trying to figure out if the driving force was fear and pride or something else and have come to a conclusion.
Go The F*ck To Sleep Kids- The Sleepover Party Nightmare
One year before my time in Texas I sat in a house in LA and wondered how I could give my children the life I wanted them to have. LA is where I was born and raised and I know it inside and out. Know the highlights and low lights because I have lived them.
The night of that sleepover all I listened to kids screaming and watched them run amok and thought about whether my son would be more embarrassed if I called every parent and demanded they pick up their kid or if just screamed at a few of them.
That was because the ringleaders of the chaos weren’t listening to my requests to chill out. So I took my son aside and told him that I didn’t want to wreck his party but made it clear that if they wouldn’t listen to him I would shut it down.
I felt badly because it shouldn’t have been his responsibility but those children were awful, not all, just the few who were creating the issues.
He got through to them and I vowed to never have them at the house again and that came true.
Why?
Because my son made the decision on his own that they weren’t good friends and that they were people who would get him into trouble.
Productive Members Of Society
My role as a father is to teach my children how to take care of themselves so they can become productive members of society. I don’t want to wrap them in bubble wrap or do things to hamstring their ability to become self sufficient, responsible and accountable.
It is a big part of why I made the move and why I came back.
I wanted them to see that you work hard for your family and that when things aren’t working you have to be willing to mix it up. You have to be willing to take a chance.
When the opportunity to come back appeared it was unexpected but I took it because I knew we wouldn’t move them for at least a year.
And though I would have flown back each month I didn’t want to leave that as my primary option because life moves too quickly. Too much happens for me to just be gone if I didn’t have to.
Four months later my gut tells me Texas is where I should be and where we need to go.
Why?
I love Los Angeles. It will always be home but what it costs to live here has become prohibitively high and I can’t do as much. I have to work harder for less and that bothers me.
Hair Today Gone Tomorrow
People tease me about my hair line because it is not what it used to be. A very thick head of hair is dramatically and noticeably thin on top.
Some of that is just life and some of it comes from the stress of hard times we have been through. It seems to me that I always tell my children we should work to live and not live to work.
That is not how I have been living but it can be.
Nothing is set in stone and plans can be changed. All I have to do is look at the last year or even the last five to see the proof of that.
But I also know that I can be the captain of my ship and the conductor of my life. The last year proved that too. Have ample examples of how I Â made things happen and I will do so again.
What about you? Are you willing to accept what you have or are you able to reach for the brass ring the next time it comes by?
I fantasize about leaving L.A. all of the time. I watch HGTV and see people renting mansions for what it costs to have a 2 bedroom apartment in Studio City and wonder what the hell I’m thinking. Of course it’s the kids that glues me here, but once they are through with school, I don’t know where life will lead me.
Until I left for a good long while I didn’t realize just how much easier it can be to live somewhere that doesn’t cost as much as LA does.
Rent and home prices are so much cheaper in Texas and the traffic…there is a real rush hour. You can go out in between hours and get places.
The kids certainly make it more challenging to leave, but sometimes…
I haven’t seen the brass ring yet. If it does come by I will certainly be ready to grab it. I have a feeling that instead I’ll be building the carousel.
Building the carousel isn’t such a bad thing, helps you make sure it goes where you want it to.