I am a murderer. I am a thief. I am the worst person you have ever met. There is a reason why just being in my presence makes the hackles on the back of your neck stand up.
But most of you will ignore the soft whisper in the back of your mind that tells you to get away from me. You ignore your intuition to your detriment and to my benefit. And that is how I like it.
You’ll wait a moment and try to reconcile your thoughts with the feeling you get when you look at my face. Big warm smile, eyes that twinkle and a deep voice that rumbles just a little bit.
I can’t be those horrible things. I have to be better, different. I am not a murderer. I am not evil. I am someone warm, special and interesting. You like spending time with me because I make you laugh and you feel safe, secure.
It seems inconceivable to think I am the cause of the hairs rising on the back of your neck. You know that intense look on my face that you told your friends makes you melt because it makes you feel like you are the only person in the world that matters to me?
Soon you’ll figure out you are just one of the many people who were fooled into thinking there is something bright and shiny behind my eyes. You’ll look up at me and wonder how you could have been so wrong and you’ll hope this is a dream.
Just before you lose consciousness I’ll whisper something in your ear and then I’ll record your reaction and add it to the collection.
In the morning you’ll wake up with only the faintest memory of what happened and then as the sun makes it way across the sky the memories will have moved to that place that nightmares go and you’ll tell yourself that you aren’t a kid anymore and go about your day.
Night will come and so will I and our private party will continue…for however much longer.
You Must Embrace The Ancient Art Of Blogging
Confession: I took a large section of this post from one I wrote a few years ago but I figure the basic message is still the relevant and worth discussing.
The best bloggers have always been story tellers and storytelling is a noble and ancient art. I still believe Writing Is Not The Hardest Part Of Blogging.
The hardest part is sustaining your effort. The hardest part is being consistent and not worrying about how many readers you have or don’t have. The hardest part is not comparing yourself to others who have what you think you should have.
Sometimes I write posts like this for others but sometimes I write them for me. The messages in How 3,000 Sycophants Made One Man A Better Blogger still resonate with me.
What I want most from this blog is to become a better storyteller and a better writer. What I want is to hone my skills and become a master of my craft.
That doesn’t require 50 comments per post or awards. Those things are nice and there is no doubt it feels good to receive them and to feel validated that your words and your actions are appreciated by someone.
What Do We Have Control Of
Ask me what my biggest blogging related dream is and it is to turn what I do here into something that pays significant amounts of money. It is to do what I love to feed my family for the long term.
Brand ambassadorships, speaking gigs and swag don’t necessarily translate into those things. I am not saying it is impossible or that people aren’t doing it but if they are there are few.
What I know is the best thing I can do is focus on what we have control of. I can’t force people to like my words and how I put the puzzle pieces together.
I can practice writing and work on my craft so that I do a better job of it. I can work on constructing more compelling content but that by definition is subjective. If I flip through the posts and feedback here I can show comments that are diametrically opposed.
Write funny stories and some people will tell you that you are not funny. Write scary stories and people will tell you they aren’t scary or they are too scary.
Write about how to give a better blow job and someone will thank you, someone will tell you that gave bad advice and someone else will ask you if it was necessary to go there.
I can’t control how you respond but I can control how I do.
Storytelling, Love Of Writing and Sustaining My Effort
It is midnight on Saturday night and I am sucked into Sons Of Anarchy so this post is going to end in a moment. So let’s sum it up.
Great storytelling helps you take a dull subject and make it interesting. My love of writing is why I keep blogging and why I will continue.
If I wanted to dramatically increase traffic here I would do a better job of visiting other blogs and commenting on them. I used to be much better about it and I can always tell when I am on my game because traffic reflects it.
Adrienne has always been good at blog commenting and if you want to see your traffic increase read that post and do as she says.
The main reason it is not still part of my anchor strategy is due to time. When it got tight I shifted my focus to my craft but part of the reason I could do that is I have been good at sustaining my effort. I have been doing this for a long time and I have a decent online footprint so I don’t feel like I need to rely upon it.
Got to run, got Sam Crow to watch. BTW, I don’t just watch for entertainment I watch these shows because I like seeing how stories are constructed and trying to figure out how to do those things here.
Leave me a comment and let’s talk.
This post resonated with me on a few levels. Firstly your more than slightly creepy opener. This almost feels like the flipside of a post I just wrote about overcoming my cynicism when it comes to the kindness of strangers and so it’s got me thinking I was wrong 😉 You tell the story wonderfully and sent shivers down my spine in doing so.
Secondly, I totally hear ya on the writing/storytelling/achieving adoration aspect of blogging. I would be lying if I didn’t hope for big things to come from my blog but I’m also a realist. I’ll take the creative vent it provides, if nothing else.
Finally, without wanting to be or come across as sycophant – great post 😉
Glad to hear that opening made you squirm a bit. I figure if I am going to try to write something that makes people squirm I might as well really go for it. 🙂
I read that post you wrote about being the mom with the toddler, I get it.
It is hard not to get caught up in the adoration aspect of blogging. It is attractive. Everyone likes to hear good things about themselves and when people tell me that they don’t want it I wonder about them.
I am sure there are people like that out there but…
Thanks for kind words, it is always good to see you here.
“That doesn’t require 50 comments per post…”
I laughed out loud when I read that. You and I, we got some jerky about us. But that’s ok. Because we can still write.
We are just a couple of regular Joes who have had occasion to think about some things that not everyone does.