Sometimes You Have To Stop & Live

I am not built for grace but I am not clumsy either.

Wasn’t built to be like Baryshnikov but if you need someone to tear down a wall, move heavy stuff up/down stairs or from point A to B you might think I am the guy to do it.

If you need someone to carry the ball up the middle or to be willing to block the guys trying to get to the ball, well I might be that guy too.

And if you need someone to put on the yoke and pull the plow through the field, well I am that guy too.

You won’t call me pretty, smooth or suave but you will know that when I set my mind to doing something it will happen or I’ll keep trying to find a way.

Yeah, I am the fool who would try to capture the moon, but I am smart enough to recognize that capturing its reflection in a barrel isn’t really capturing it at all.

That is why I’ll think about tying a rope around the moon so that I can tug it back to earth. I am just dumb enough to think I might be able to do it and determined enough to try, even if I am the only one pulling.

Sometimes You Have To Stop & Live

I have been in so many different places that I barely recognize the one that is supposedly my own. Been racing at full speed for extended periods not just because I do what is required to get things done but because to do it right you need to do more.

Because I am determined to build a deeper and stronger foundation and this is how you do it.

Intensity and I have been brothers for as long as I can remember but for the past eon we have been closer than that and sometimes I have forgotten about the importance of getting off of the hamster wheel.

Forgotten that sometimes you have to stop and live and that when you do you need to ignore the whisper in your head that you can’t get everything done unless you keep moving.

I drove 460 some miles on Monday and at the end of the day somewhere between miles 308 and 460 I pulled the car over and stared at a sun dropping behind the mountains and enjoyed the silence of my mind.

Closed my eyes and thought about how it was a moment I want my kids to experience, how I want them to see veil between day and night and the magic of what lies between.

And then I got back into the car and pushed on to the next place.

That Shelley quote is a favorite of mine.

My teenage son scrunched up his face when he read it and said he hoped it didn’t refer to girls. I told him sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn’t, context is everything.

He asked me if I really liked kissing girls and I told him that when you are kissing the right one life stops and that you capture a moment.

He didn’t like how I laughed at his expression but he mellowed when I assured him there was a time I felt the same way and that even now it still happens.

“Girls are magical, sometimes they know exactly how to make you feel like you have never felt before. The challenge that comes with that is sometimes it is good and sometimes it is…not.”

He told me that he would win the bet, the one we made where he promised he would never kiss a girl and asked me why I want to win.

I said it is not because I am competitive and he made another face.

“Dad, you are the crazy father who almost always plays hard. You just keep going.”

“I don’t know how to be any other way, but I don’t want this because I want to win. I want this because I think you’ll benefit from it.

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It is a funny thing to think about and not one I think about often, but more now than before.

That is because my almost 16 year-old nephew had a girlfriend for a while and my almost 14-year-old niece has kissed a boy.

It is because friends whose kids are slightly older than mine have talked about the minefield of teenage dating and I know it is probably going to be part of my life soon.

I remember when I started to think of girls as being interesting in a good way and how it was like someone had flipped a switch.

One day they were just annoying and the next day…not so annoying, at least some of them. Little sisters were still annoying, but even they got better with time.

Just A Moment

It was hard getting out of bed because I was physically and mentally exhausted.

I had pushed myself to the limit and kept going and then pushed a bit farther. I sat on the edge of the bed and grunted at the not so little people that walked by and pondered whether I would go straight to work or take a moment.

Then I decided to take one, just a moment to try to catch my breath and hear the quiet of my soul. A moment to remember I am only human and that even the fool who tries to rope the moon needs rest.

And so I did and I waited as long as I could and then it was over. It was just a moment in time.