Don’t know about you but since the election it feels like many of my friends and family have de developed trust issues.
Given that my circle includes supporters of both sides I have heard enough to know the suspicious minds aren’t limited to one group.
I keep hearing and or reading stories that are supposed to prove that their particular issue is legitimate but all I do is look at them both sideways.
An Abundance of Trust Issues
Don’t mistake that to mean I consider myself to be better than others because you’d be missing the point.
I am just an average Joe who is wondering if we are going to let anger and frustration push us into corners because that is a problem.
All that hokey stuff you hear about united we stand and divided we fall is rooted in truth and we would be fools to ignore it.
If we don’t find ways to tap into compassion and understanding we are going to be in for a very rough future because the crap that we are flinging at each other isn’t going to just go away.
What really blows my mind is how many times my kids have told me they think the adults have lost it.
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My 7th grader told me her English teacher told the class she didn’t vote and my head exploded.
The right to vote isn’t a joke or something to be trifled with and this fool had the audacity to tell her students that it didn’t matter.
I didn’t particularly like either candidate and I never hid that. I told them that I wasn’t enamored with HRC and that I saw Trump as a trust fund baby who had no skills, experience or business being in office.
When he won I said it was a huge mistake but told the kids it was time to start rooting for his success.
I told them we would stand up and oppose any proposal that would curtail rights for others. I reminded them about how the Nazis murdered family members during the Holocaust and that we were obligated to help.
And then I tried to explain nuance and how we could move from supporting another to pushing for his success.
It is rarely a black and white world and the abundance of trust issues aren’t helping any of us.
A Reason To Fear
I intentionally haven’t told the kids about my concerns about some of the people Trump intends to nominate/appoint/hire because I want to wait and see how some things go.
No one thought Earl Warren would be the kind of Chief Justice he was and I keep hoping my concerns here are unwarranted.
I keep hoping we don’t have a reason to fear but hope is not a tactic or strategy.
I Won’t Just Unfriend
Part of my job as a father is to teach these rascals how to get along in the world and that is part of why I have told them I am not going to unfriend those I disagree with.
Well, that is not entirely true, there are things you can say or do that will get me to unfriend you but you have to work a bit at it.
Part of the reason I won’t just do it is I am going to be there to help make sure neither of us live in an echo chamber.
I am going to be there to ask those who voted for Trump to hold him accountable to do the right thing and to represent all of us.
There are friends and family who I believe voted for him because they really believed he was the better choice.
I looked them in the eye and asked if they were comfortable with his being a KKK darling. They swore they didn’t think that those people would have influence and that he would be good for all of us.
Well I’ll be around to talk with them and ask them to uphold their end of the bargain. I’ll be there to say you need to stand up and be counted.
And if I am proven wrong about him I’ll be there to admit I was wrong and to say so publicly.
I am not going to unfriend. I am not going to let mistrust drive a bigger wedge because we have to find ways to bridge the gap.
But you better believe if some of the questionable stuff continues to head in the wrong direction you will hear from me.
We’re going to have to work harder to make some things happen, but hard work hasn’t ever scared me so…
Mitch Mitchell says
Trust issues? Try being me! I’ve spent the last 3 weeks removing people from my life in lots of different ways. Unfriend… yeah, I’ve done that on Twitter & LinkedIn (though it’s not called that) and on Facebook I’ve muted a ton of people and even modified things I was seeing from people I agree with.
I was so depressed and I still am… and I’m so done. I’m working towards happiness and ignorance at the same time. I just don’t want to care anymore and, unless things are done and said that are against black people, I’m not reading the news or discussing anything outside of what might make me happy and successful. Lots of bad stuff started happening around the country and it’s still happening, even locally… so I’m removing myself from all of it and dealing with my family and the rest of what I already said.
In other words… I’m too through!
Jack Steiner says
I understand that. I am a news hound and always have been but lately I have had to put some of that in check because there is way too much crap going on and all of that negativity gets old really quickly.
Larry says
I’m with you on nearly all of this. I wish we could just move on. People can’t let go. It’s time to move forward and try to make the best of what has come.
Jack Steiner says
At some point we have to move on because the kvetching isn’t leading anywhere.
Renee McKinley says
You are one of the few voices of reason I’ve come across lately. I’ve not broadcast my politics and have mostly been avoiding social media. The rhetoric one both sides makes my head hurt.
Jack Steiner says
It gets old and unless we are doing something to improve things I see little good in constant complaining.