A woman hit a man. I saw it happen. I was trapped waiting in line for gas at Costco and saw two people standing outside of their cars. I don’t know if they were related. I don’t know if they were husband and wife, boyfriend and girlfriend or just two strangers who had a disagreement. What I know is that I saw the two of them arguing and then she slapped him twice.
I felt badly for the man because he just took it. It might have been something that he deserved, but since I don’t know what happened I feel badly. I am not a pacifist by any definition of the word. I have been in my share of fist fights and believe that sometimes war is necessary. None of that means that I think that it is ok for someone not to be able to defend themselves. This case bothers me because the man was stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Had he returned the favor he would have been in serious trouble. People would have assumed that he was in the wrong and gone to defend the woman. He might have been jumped by several men, tased or sprayed with Pepper Spray. It is probable that he would have been assaulted in some fashion and that the police would have received a call about a man beating a woman. An arrest could have been forthcoming.
This is not the first time that I have seen a woman hit a man. It is not as uncommon as people might think. We are not limiting the definition to something that involves a closed fist. It doesn’t have to resemble a boxing match or street fight. The reality is that many women have hit men. Quite a few of you think that because we are usually bigger and stronger that you can hit us. Maybe it is slap across the face or a blow to the chest. You might hit us in the arm or shoulder, but quite a few of you have hit us and it is not alright.
In college a girlfriend of mine hit me twice. I was 19 and she got angry because I was teasing her so she hit me. I laughed the first time she did it. It surprised me. Can’t tell you why I laughed, but when I did she hit me again and I got irritated. I wasn’t hurt physically, but I was irritated because a line was being crossed. It is unfair and unreasonable to create a situation where you cannot defend yourself. I told her that was the last time that she would ever be allowed to do that and it never happened again.
I don’t want to hit a woman. I didn’t then and I don’t now, but I won’t allow anyone to strike me without consequence. Ladies, if this post describes you at all be thankful that he doesn’t respond. I am not sure if you realize just how much stronger we usually are and how much force we can put behind a punch. One stupid fight can be devastating to all parties. Don’t do it. It is not right for a man to beat on you and it is not right for you to hit a man.
I have a buddy. He was married until recently. Had he been doing to his wife what his wife was doing to him, he’d be in jail right now.
There is a double standard and it is not right.
Oops- meant to put that here not FB. What did I tell you about Costco!!?
Costco is a fine place, most of the time. Unless you are stuck in some dumpy midwestern town or accosted by Angry Alabamans in Texas. (Sorry, that is directed at a lurker.) 😉
Yeah, that double standard certainly does exist. And your are right. No one should hit anyone else. We drill that into our kids. As adults we need to reinforce it with our own actions.
It is crazy to me. Honestly I am surprised at how many times I have heard stories about this or seen it enacted. The liberties that some women take with their own safety is shocking to me.
Oh yes I do. My husband would often jokingly hold me down and I could not get away no matter how much I fought back. There was always this realization that fled by my mind: I would be totally screwed if this were a real attacker. I also think there is a difference in terms of perception and interpretation and reception between a slap to the face and a punch to the gut or face. I’d probably be more open to seeing things from a man’s perspective if he has slapped a woman on the face than if he has punched a woman. Does this make sense? At any rate, difference cultures have different “rules”. I was reminiscing the other day by watching an episode from a Japanese anime in which the couple FINALLY have their first kiss – it was a very significant moment in my childhood; we talked about it afterwards forever. Well, I forgot the details and was shocked to see that after he kissed her, she slapped him, and then he slapped her back! I still cannot decide how I feel about it and partly because I desperately want to remember how I “FELT” about it back then but of course I can’t…
I understand what you are saying, but a strong slap can still put you down. It may not offer the same visual effect, but it is still powerful.
That anime sounds like it was designed for comedic effect, or at least that is how it sounds.
Great post, Jack. So true, and so rarely discussed. What kept popping into my mind is how I would feel if I saw a woman hitting my son (when he is older). Thanks (as always) for putting it out there!
Hi Galit,
I can’t imagine you or any mother being happy about it. It is simply wrong.