My List of Things About Me

I received a request to try and create list of things about myself. I don’t have any real direction so I am going to just throw it out there and we’ll see if it is remotely interesting.

1. I have a problem with brevity, I am naturally long winded.
2. Although I can be gregarious I can be exceptionally quiet.
3. I can be the life of the party or the shyest guy in the room.
4. I am a hopeless romantic.
5. I love movies that have a character that has loved and lost- Casablanca and Unforgiven come to mind.
6. I am exceptionally stubborn. I can maintain my position against the world, even at the expense of cutting off my nose to spite my face. I am working on that.
7. I can bark like a dog. It sounds like a very large dog and I have used it on many occasions for many purposes.
8. When I was 12 I called the police on the FBI.
9. I was evacuated from a Forest Fire when I was 16 and have been through several major earthquakes.
10. I used to be able to curl 150 pounds and benchpress more than 300. Now I find putting up 200 to be challenging.
11. I am a Peace Corps baby. My parents met in Ecuador but I was born in Los Angeles.
12. My first car was a 1969 Dodge Dart Swinger. That was followed by a 1977 Cheverolet Impala Station Wagon. Then I had a 1977 Camaro, it was Blue. That was followed by a 1990 Toyota Camry Station Wagon. That was followed by a 1996 Honda Accord and a 2000 Honda CRV.
13. I took my Dart offroading, did donuts in the quad at my high school, drove through trash cans, shopping carts and endless other barriers that we would assemble.
14. In high school I helped an underclassman sneak out by allowing him to hide in the trunk of the Dart. I didn’t want to do it but he begged me for a month and I finally gave in. I drove for about 3 miles before I let him out, but not before I hit every speed bump and dip I could find. When he got out of the car he was covered in a ton of muck, not to mention some oil I kept in the trunk.
15. I went to Israel for the first time in 1985. Before I left I made sure to get a haircut because I had heard that the barbers there were terrible. While in the chair I kept encouraging my barber to cut my hair really short. By the time he was done my head was shaved. My mother was furious.
16. One of the guys in my group started calling me Rambo. When we met the other kids on the trip they wanted to know why that was my nickname. It didn’t take long for us to make up all sorts of stupid stories about how I was in the army, or had saved a family at the airport from being robbed. None of them were true, but I thought that they were pretty cool. I was 16, what did I know.
17. I am afraid of the dark and have been for as long as I can remember. I once tried to overcome my fear by walking alone at night through the woods for a couple of miles. It helped a little, but sometimes I still feel like that scared little boy.
18. I have Irritable Bowel Syndrome. My biggest fear is that one day I won’t make it to the bathroom in time. I have used all sorts of places and have some pretty good stories about my bathroom escapades.
19. One morning when I was having trouble I pulled into the parking lot of a diner. The men’s room was locked so I ran into the womens. Fortunately it was empty. While I was in the middle of my business two women walked in and spent a ridiculous amount of time primping and talking at the mirror. When they finally finished and left I ran out, washed my hands and ducked out of there. A policeman saw me walk out and stopped me. I didn’t know how to respond to his questions so I answered him in Hebrew. He finally decided that I must not have spoken English and let me go.
20. I could eat pizza every day and never get tired of it.
21. In college I tore the doors off of a pick up truck at my fraternity house. It was an old truck that had been sitting out in the rain for about 5 years. It didn’t work and no one wanted to take responsibility for getting rid of it. One day after having had my heart torn out by an ex-girlfriend I took out my frustration on the truck. It took me about an hour to kill the first door. I was surprised when the door came off and of course had to see if I could do the same to the other door. It only took 45 minutes to tear that one off.
22. I love watching The Worlds Strongest Man Contests on ESPN. They are goofy, ridiculous, but oh so much fun.
23. I loved Gladiator. One of my favorite movie lines is “Unleash Hell”
24. Speaking of favorite quotes here are a few from Casablanca ” “Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.” “Rick: How long was it we had, honey?Ilsa: I didn’t count the days.Rick: Well, I did. Every one of them. Mostly, I remember the last one, the wild finish. A guy standing on a station platform in the rain, with a comical look on his face, because his insides have been kicked out.”
25. I was in the pilot episode of a game show called “The Grudge Match.” The show consisted of three rounds in which you fought an opponent. I was reluctantly matched up against a woman.The first round we had kind of a pillow fight. They gave us “pillow swords.” I let her smack me with it a few times and then took it out of her and started to popping her with her sword and mine. Continued
    
26. The next round we were given big sticks that had pillows on the ends, they looked like giant cue tips. She kept trying to hit me in the crotch with her stick and I kept shaking my head at her. Eventually I swept her legs out from under her and that ended the round.The final round was boxing. They gave her regulation 16 ounce gloves to use. I was given oversized 32 ounce gloves. Continued again
    
27. They were monstrous and if i held them up I couldn’t see her. I spent a large part of that round trying to avoid having to hit her, but she had no compunction about hitting me, especially below the belt. I finally got fed up with it and hit her back. I didn’t hit her hard, but I would be lying if I said that I didn’t get a little satisfaction out watchin her hit the canvas. There is only so many times that you can let someone do something like that before you react.
28. In my life I have considered working as a sports writer, rabbi, lawyer and teacher.
29. I once took out a singles ad. I got 24 responses and went out with 17 of the women who responded to my ad. For a brief time I dated 3 of them. It was cool because since they all had found me through the ad they knew that there were other women and no one gave me any grief about the others. Eventually I narrowed it down to one and had a girlfriend for about 8 months or so.
30. If I was single again I would not use an ad. It was a ton of fun, but it was an incredible amount of work to date that many people. Too hard to get to know anyone seriously when there are so many others, but it was fun while it lasted.
31. In college I lost a “push-up” contest. The goal was to do more consecutive push-ups then the others in the competition. I did a little more than 700. The winner did close to 850.
32. I love to read anything and everything. My profile lists a very small selection of the authors I enjoy.
33. I love history, it fascinates me.
34. I wore glasses or contacts for 20 years. I had the lasik surgery four years ago and never looked back. It is amazing.
35. I wish that I had James Earl Jones voice. I like mine, but his is on a different level.
36. I have worked as a writer, editor, teacher, youth director, cross country coach, P.E. coach, sold copiers, ad space (online and print), run a marketing department and sold lemonade.
37. Many years ago I was told that a great way to relieve stress was to just go outside and scream. I have never done this outside, but I admit to having done so in my car. And I admit to being scared at the outpouring of emotion. I always feel a little more vulnerable afterwards. FWIW, I don’t think that I have done this more than three times and never while actually driving.
38. I have been accused of being too intense. I have also been accused of not taking anything seriously. The answer lies in between.
39. I have a body that was built for demolition, grace is not something that is used to describe me. I am not a klutz, I play many sports, some of them well, but I am just kind of big.
40. I am a daydreamer. I love to spend time lost in thought about things, people, places and all sorts of stuff.
41. I once believed that I would never be married and never be married. I have a bad case of wanderlust and I didn’t think that I could be in one place with one person for any length of time.
42. When I was younger sometimes I would get in my car and just drive until something caught my eye.
43. I am a storyteller. I am good at coming up with stories off the cuff and just running with them.
44. Everything in this list is true, but I have had to work hard at making sure I didn’t include anything that was fabricated. I really wanted to and I may still do it yet.
45. The best thing I have ever done in my life is become a parent. It is the hardest and the scariest, but still the best.
46. I used to say that I wanted six children. I still do, but I am not sure that it is a reasonable goal.
47. In college I told one of my girlfriends that I wanted to have six children. She told me that I was selfish and crazy, that it was unfair to ask one woman to bear that many children for me. I told her thatI told her that was very spiritual and that I would do as my forefathers did. I said that I would spare her the full load and offered to marry her and her two sisters. Not only did I offer my hand in marriage but health, retirement and vacation benefits.She didn’t think that was funny. I still smile about it.
48. The scariest thing about being a parent is my own memory of the things that I did. I cringe sometimes at the thought of my children doing as I did.
49. I sometimes think that G-d gave me a daughter to punish/teach me a lesson. I love her dearly, but again when I think about boys/men and girls it makes me crazy. I work out harder so that when I am 50 those boys who come looking for my daughter will think twice about it. I don’t really think that it will work, I never was intimidated by fathers, but maybe it will work for me. Who knows.
50. I almost never proofread my posts. I don’t spell check them and unless someone points out a mistake it sits there, a siren notifying the world of my silly error.
51. I always wanted to be able to speak with an Irish accent. I don’t know why, but I do. I can do a pretty good Southern accent. If I am speaking with someone with a drawl it just sneaks out of me. It can be strong enough to fool people into thinking that I am from Dixie. Of course they get a little irate when they hear me speak in my normal voice, but that is a story for a different day.
52. I could extend this silly list of nonsense, but I am not sure that it is even worth posting so I’ll cut it off here for now.