Today I explained to my son that as long as people remember you then you never really die. Death is a hard concept for children. It is hard for adults. The finality of it all makes it very hard to deal with. Some people just don’t.
During the past couple of days I have been handling many of the responsibilities that surround an event like this. I have spent time reviewing paperwork, shuttling family members to and from the airport and so much more.
In the course of reviewing some of the associated paperwork I came across the civil marriage license for my grandfather and my grandmother. I took a moment to review it and was surprised to see that she had a different maiden name listed on it than the one I knew her by.
It caught me by surprise and withouth thinking I yelled “grandpa” and then waited for the standard reply. I waited even though I had realized that there wouldn’t a reply long before the echoes of my initial cry disappeared.
There wasn’t time to ask my father about it nor was I able to ask any other family. It is a mystery. I feel a little silly saying that, but it is true.
It is moments like this when you really learn about your family. These are the times when the family secrets are shared and you find out about that crazy aunt or uncle. There have been some great stories, just amazing.
BG,
Very true.
Sea,
I know that there are going to be many occasions where I’ll miss having him around.
Stacey,
Me too.
Val,
Some secrets always remain a mystery, I certainly wish that it was otherwise.
When my grandmother passed away was when I learned about her ‘1st marriage’. My Mom had only recently found out about it months before. Amazing. I wished I had known before so I could find out more. But apparently this was not something she wished to discuss with me – and we discussed ALOT of things. The ache for her is still with me almost 10 years later. But I feel her with me every day.
Don’t forget to ask your father about this! I am curious!
I still feel like calling my grandpa when I have a question about our unique family history. He’s been gone for around 20 years.
I don’t think it ever leaves you.
Family stories, the ones about the ‘crazy aunt or uncle or cousin’ are the best, especially when told to us thru our elders.