It is close to a year since I wrote part I and not much has changed. I’d like to say that I have grown and matured a lot, but I am not so sure that it is accurate.
I still have feelings of frustration. My best posts are often overlooked and for the most part there is at best a smattering of comments. That is not always the case. There are posts that draw quite a bit of attention and a chunk of comments from the readers, but not always.
My position on why I blog hasn’t changed. I don’t do it for the comments. I don’t do it with the hope of receiving a book deal. I do it because I enjoy it.
But….
I am like so many others. I appreciate the comments. If someone wanted to give me a book deal I would certainly have to entertain it, why not.
As I sit here in mobile office I can say that I was wrong. The blog has matured and has grown. I feel like I have a real rhythm and style. I know that I have a set of readers who visit repeatedly. I am still surprised that so many people do and that so many of you enjoy the crap I spew out here, but I appreciate it.
So in the midst of another new year here is my number one goal for this blog. I want to improve upon my writing. I want to try and raise my game and make the words just sing. I want the text to shout. I want it to feel like there are layers upon layers of texture and color. I want to write well enough that you feel like you are standing next to me, experiencing these tales together.
In the end I have to strive for this because I believe it to be true and because this is what I teach my children. You have to work hard and you have to practice. So I cannot give up on my writing. I cannot close this outlet, not yet.
Now is when I need to dig in and try harder. And there you have it, my confession. I want more. I need more from myself and if I can do that successfully everything else will come.
Do I have blog envy? Yes, I do. I admit it. But I am going to use it to motivate me. So if you are still up for another spin on the carousel I invite you to climb on pick out a horse or pony to ride.
Get comfortable, the ride will be starting soon.
Elster,
Well said.
I write for myself – sure – but a decent amount of effort goes into some of my better posts and it would be nice to get recognized for it.
I’ll write some stupid post about the Mets and a little debate will follow – voila, 15 comments.
THen I’ll draft a snippet of fiction, afirst hand account of the Israel ralley from 2 weeks ago or on some important issue and I’ll get three comments.
So yes, I write for myself. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want people to enjoy it enough to feel the need to shout back.
Z,
So true.
I like how you think…I wish I wasn’t such a sporadic visitor but hey, such is my work life right? I often feel the same way you do…when what I consider my best stuff gets zero comments and the crap, fluff stuff gets them all. Go figure.
Hi Rhea,
Works for me.
Richmond,
Just remember I warned you about the bumpy ride.
BOH,
I hear you. Every now and then I come up with some brilliant comment and then discover that some other blog loser has beaten me to the punch. Oh the shame.
CM,
You pay well so you got blogrolled.
Barbara,
When I first began blogging I didn’t know a thing about it. It was just a place to practice my writing and air my thoughts.
As I grew into it I began to really enjoy the interaction with others and the chance for some intellectual stimulation.
I have produced more than 4,000 posts in 2.5 years. I am confident that if we did the math we would find that there are very few comments relative to posts.
So the answer is that I will write without comments, but given the choice I suppose that I would prefer to receive them than not.
Contradictory, but that is me, a contradiction.
Well, let me ask a fundamental question, Jack:
Is your blog being written for yourself, fundamentally or for others? Is the quality of one’s own thinking and resolution what is most important, or the number and nature of comments which provides the most satisfaction.
Like others, I love to receive comments, but truthfully, my blog is written to settle my own thoughts (as you will see with the latest post.)
Have an easy fast.
It took you long enough to blogroll me, you better NOT quit. 🙂
I too have blog envy.
And comment envy. Problem is that some people are so much better commenters than myself, and some say things much better than I possibly could.
That last envy is helped by caffeine.
Okay, I took a dramamine and saddled up. Let’s go! : )
I want to be a commenter here so I can be among your ‘smattering’ of commenters. Keep on bloggin’!