I think that I was around 11 years-old or so when my mother first allowed me to go to the movies without adult supervision. Or maybe I was older, can’t really remember. I do remember that my mom wouldn’t let me go see King Kong with a neighborhood friend because she thought that it would be too violent. That was in ’76. I was still a few years off of turning 11.
Anyway, one of my favorite parts of the movies used to be the previews. The studios take advantage of the captive audience to try and sell you on shelling out a few more bucks to see another one of their movies. Oops, did I say a few bucks, I certainly didn’t mean that. But that is not really the point of this post.
Somewhere along the way the theaters screwed the whole preview or movie trailer thing up. Because it used to be that you’d go see a movie and you knew that you’d get one or two trailers before your film. These days I have been to movies where they show at least three trailers, plus the THX ad, plus the turn off your cellphone ad and the reminder to throw your trash away ad.
Now that probably looks like a runon sentence and maybe it is, but it captures the mood for me. Because it used to be that if a movie was called for 12:30 you knew that it was going to start by 12:45. Now if you are lucky that 12:30 showing starts at 1:15. It has gotten to be a little bit much.
Speaking of the movies the crowds have become a problem for me. Maybe it is because I am a natural curmudgeon, but I get tired of dealing with foolishness. Went to see The Dark Knight last summer and got to watch it with a bunch of babies and toddlers. Sorry, if you can’t find a babysitter you shouldn’t be at the movies. And that doesn’t cover the young children who conned their parents into taking them.
Leave those kids at home. If they must watch movies give them some Disney flick like Mulan to watch ten times in a row.
A while back I forgot to turn off my phone. Sure enough the damn thing rang. It was right in the middle of an action scene. I grabbed the phone and whispered “Give him another dose of Morphine and schedule a consultation with Dr. Kildare.” And then I made sure to hang up.
Later on one of the patrons asked me what had happened. I told him that one of my patients was really sick and that his nurse had consulted with me. He told me that I must really be a good doctor and asked me where I practiced. I told him that he could find me at Rampart, part of the Squad 51 team.
Had he asked me my name I would have told him that I was Marcus Welby, or maybe just gone with Quincy. Who knows.
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