So it turns out that I wear the hell out of a red dress. Here is my first shot at it based upon the writing prompt they gave this week and a 600 word limit. If you like this post feel free to sift through Fragments of Fiction.
I could never have imagined that one day I would wake up and not have you by my side. It still seems improbable, inconceivable and simply unbelievable. This can’t be real because the Greek tragedies aren’t true stories. They are myths and tales that are man made- not reality.
Yet, here we are living life alone and apart. Separate homes and separate lives. You were the guardian of all my secrets and the woman that I allowed to walk unfettered and unencumbered through my heart. I had every opportunity to treat you like a piece of meat but I didn’t.
It wasn’t because you prevented me from doing so. You gave yourself so willingly to me that I knew I could ask you to do anything and you would. It was part of the magic of our bond. Sometimes I think that you were offended that I didn’t take advantage of the situation. Sometimes I think that you were offended that I didn’t take every moment to ravish your body.
That didn’t happen because I have never seen a woman who is more beautiful than you are. I have never been closer or more intimate with anyone than I was with you. You know this because I told you so but I would like to tell you again.  Not by phone, text, email or IM but in person.
The things we did and the experiences we had were real. They were magical and mysterious. They had a depth and purpose that cannot be properly expressed through words alone.
You are the song of my heart. Even now so long after we parted I still hear your melody being played in places too deep to ignore. I can still feel your touch and taste your lips. Your scent is not forgotten nor have I forgotten the grace with which you move.
Remember how I used to stare at you and how I enjoyed just listening to you breathe. Sometimes you would shy away from my look and tell me that I was too intense but you always said it with a smile.
There are so many stories that I could tell and so many memories that I could share with you. I still can’t believe that I have started listening to some of those Barry Manilow songs you used to talk about. Remember how I teased you about his elevator music and said that thirty somethings weren’t old enough to listen to him. You rolled your eyes at me and accused me of having no taste.
Now I find myself quoting his songs and wondering if maybe they foretell a future that is yet unwritten. When he sings about finding the right love at the wrong time I nod my head in frustration and ask why us. When he talks about walks down long rocky beaches and starting a story whose end will have to wait I smile.
Yes, I admit it. I smile because it gives me hope that maybe we’ll find our way back to each other. But sometimes I don’t let that hope inside my head or my heart. Sometimes I stuff it back down into the cage it came from and think of reasons to be angry with you. That anger helps to hide the sadness and makes me forget how much I miss you.
I am just a boy asking a girl for the chance to hold her hand again because I can’t imagine not having you in my life. I’m just a man who remembers a time when he kissed a woman and then the whole world shifted.
You had me at “song of my heart”. I’ll be back for more.
Awesome, I really appreciate that.
Not a single word out of place, impressive. My favorite was this “it gives me hope that maybe we’ll find our way back to each other” probably because I am big ole sap.
Nothing wrong with being a sap.
P.S. I really am proud and impressed that you’ve joined on.
Thanks!
This really got to me- I love all of it, the tone, the flow- it’s musical, lovely and sweet-Great job.
Hi Lydia,
Thank you. I appreciate the feedback. I have been thinking about how I could develop this further so it is good to hear what people think.
You’re going to have us all sighing and swooning in our Red Dresses! Being a die hard romantic myself, this was so heartwarming and heart wrenching at the same time. My heart was breaking for the man who was suffering, but who doesn’t love seeing the softer side of a man??
Ah, see I wonder sometimes about whether women want to see man show vulnerability or whether it is a turnoff. The beauty of a character in a story is that you can play with them and see what works.
I love how simply your sentences are constructed. Because of your use of short clipped sentences a really nice rhythm is created, almost like a heartbeat. I love that the narrator is still trying to get close to her through Barry Manilow, it made me giggle because I’m not sure that is something most people would ever, and I do mean ever admit to.
I have a BA in Journalism. Once upon a time I was intent on becoming the next Jim Murray, so I suppose that my writing reflects my training. But I am pleased that you felt the rhythm because that is something that I try hard to create.
As for our protagonist, well I envisioned him as someone who had loved deeply and then lost her. He is not worried about what people think. His concern is trying to find a way to connect with her again.
I really enjoyed this. The final paragraph was an excellent wrap up and flowed perfectly even with the required wording.
I agree. You wear the red dress well. 🙂
I am glad. Sometimes we get lucky and that last ‘graph fits in like it was always meant to be there. This time it just snapped into place.
You, sir, wear the Red Dress quite well.
I admit it melts my heart of stone to read a man writing so romantically, and so heartbreakingly, about a love and a love lost.
Sigh.
I’m so glad you joined us!!
It is a bit drafty in this dress, don’t know how you ladies do it- but I am pleased to be on board. Writing is a passion and I like sharing it with others who enjoy it too.
This made a sigh come up from deep within my romantic heart.
It was so beautifully written with a pacing that flowed from one paragraph to the next. I wanted to quote my favorite lines, but there were just too many.
You are a poet.
Keep rockin’ the Red Dress.
(Visiting from TRDC.)
Hi Mandy,
Thank you. I am working on my writing and trying to improve it so that it flows naturally. Sometimes it works and others…not so much. Thanks for coming by, I hope you come again.
Jack that is some good writing. I have followed along with the red dress club but have been too scared to attempt.
Thank you Cathy. You can do this too. All you need to do is take a piece of life and apply it. I have read your writing, you can do this.
I think you did a great job here, Jack. The emotion is there, the anguish. I LOVE the final statement. Excellent ending that ties it all back in, and leaves the reader with a lasting glimpse of your vulnerability. Glad to have you on board. I’m looking forward to more of your work. Well played, sir!
Brandon, I am grateful for your introduction. This blog is filled with fiction. I would write it regardless of whether anyone else read it, but this is certainly more fun.
You are the song of my heart.
Sigh. That’s a statement any lady would want to hear.
I feel the heartbreak in the speaker’s words.
I try to write about things I have experienced and or heard about. It helps to make it more real. Thank you for visiting. I hope you come by again.