Song Sung Blue…And Other Colors

Ok here is the newest addition to my Red Dress Club Prompts. The details are just below. I really should have picked the first option but that seemed too easy so I went with the second and I am not real pleased with it. I think that it is kind of awkward and a bit long. But the purpose in doing this is to practice writing because that is the only way to improve.

This week you had two choices for prompts.

The first was to write a formal letter to you or your character’s greatest fear. The second was to select 10 songs that would be on your character’s iPod and would tell about that character.
The Song of My Heart has gone silent. She who inspired the words written just below this paragraph has chosen to deny her heart to me. That which was once open and freely offered is no longer available or so I have been told.

I had a dream. I dreamt of a place that I had never been to but always wanted to live in. You were there and your arms welcomed me to a place that until then had always lived inside me. You unlocked the passion and the fire that burns inside me.

You helped me to remember that love is meant to sting, that to be apart is to feel an ache that no drug can touch and to be together is to know the meaning of union.

You are my drug of choice, an addiction that I cannot give up. My air and my blood, the wind that fills my sails and were I to lose you I would be forced to revisit that dark place that I used to live in. I would be hollow inside, an empty shell and who knows what might choose to occupy that place.

I knew the day that we kissed that life was going to be different. Few people understand because so few have had the experience and even then few walk that path. When you walk through fire you risk being burned but you also open yourself up to untold rewards.

When just holding hands brings incredible pleasure, when whispers and caresses offer the height of joy and passion there is something special.

When I kissed you I felt your legs go weak and I held you tightly but I was not concerned because my arms were made for holding you tight and feeling your heart beat against mine gives me all the strength that I require.

I had a dream that became reality.

If you were to ask me to describe who we were and explain what happened I would probably shake my head. Because if you haven’t lived it than you cannot understand it. The language of the heart is not something that you can transcribe with words. Many have tried and most have failed. But perhaps there are songs that might offer an inkling of an explanation.

“Love is a burning thing
And it makes a fiery ring
Bound by wild desire
I fell into a ring of fire

I fell into a burning ring of fire
I went down, down, down and the flames went higher
And it burns, burns, burns, the ring of fire
The ring of fire

I fell into a burning ring of fire
I went down, down, down and the flames went higher
And it burns, burns, burns, the ring of fire
The ring of fire

The taste of love is sweet
When hearts like ours meet
I fell for you like a child
Oh, but the fire went wild”
Ring of Fire– Johnny and June Carter Cash

The passion that fueled our fire was the sort that would make poets weep because how can a few lines of verse describe a single kiss that transforms your life…forever. You can’t and again unless you have experienced it this will all seem like so much hyperbole.

With the calm of the mountains, I will love you
with insanity and balance, I will love you
with the fury of my years
the way you taught me to be
with a powerful raw scream, I will love you

In secrecy and in silence, I will love you
risking (bordering) in what’s forbidden, I will love you
in what’s false and in what’s true with my heart wide open
because you’re something that’s not perfect, I will love you

I will love you, I will love you in a way that’s not allowed
I will love you, I will love you in a way that’s never been known of

Because that’s what I have decided, I will love you
Te Amare– Miguel Bose w/ Laura Pausini

But if you have experienced such love than you know that you cannot just ignore it.  You….must….act upon it.

Then say you’ll share with me
one love, one lifetime
let me lead you from your solitude
Say you need me with you here, beside you…
anywhere you go, let me go too
All I Ask of You– The Phantom Of The Opera

And act you shall even if you are wrapped up in love, lust, hope and confusion. Because sometimes heart battles head. Your head says ‘watch out’ and your heart says ‘shut up.’ The two engage in a ferocious battle for supremacy.

And don’t ask me where
All of the pain goes
‘Cause you make me feel
That I don’t know myself
You say that you want me forever
And I say that love is no crime
So tell me the names of the children
We’ll have at the end of the line

So don’t put your arms around me
And don’t hold me tight
‘Cause I could get used to
Your vision of paradise
And don’t let me near the garden
Of earthly delights
‘Cause I could get used to
Your vision of paradise
Of paradise
Of paradise

Just use your heart not your head
While I fall apart in my bed
I find myself aching for you
I feel myself breaking in two
Visions of Paradise– Mick Jagger

You both say that love should be enough and swear that together your hands intertwined and your hearts as one will find a way to overcome the doubts and demons that have suddenly beset you.

There’s a crazy mirror showing us both in 5-d
I’m laughing at you you’re laughing at me
There’s a room of shadows that gets so dark brother
Its easy for two people to lose each other in this tunnel of love

It ought to be easy ought to be simple enough
Man meets woman and they fall in love
But the house is haunted and the ride gets rough
And you’ve got to learn to live with what you can’t rise above
if you want to ride on down in through this tunnel of love

Tunnel of Love– Bruce Springsteen

But no one knows better than you how the fire that burns so brightly can create chaos of a different sort. No one knows how burning desire can create confusion and in the silence of the night insecurities can build. And sometimes that which seemed unbreakable can be broken. Freed from the shackles that once bound them the whispers of doubt and insecurity go to work upon you both until a wedge is driven betwixt and between. And so it goes until one day something happens and the tower comes tumbling down leaving you battered, bruised and broken.

“Don’t look don’t look” the shadows breathe
Whispering me away from you
“Don’t wake at night to watch her sleep
You know that you will always lose
This trembling
Adored
Tousled bird mad girl… ”
But every night I burn
But every night I call your name
Every night I burn
Every night I fall again

“Oh don’t talk of love” the shadows purr
Murmuring me away from you
“Don’t talk of worlds that never were
The end is all that’s ever true
There’s nothing you can ever say
Nothing you can ever do… ”
Still every night I burn
Every night I scream your name
Every night I burn
Every night the dream’s the same
Every night I burn
Burn– The Cure

So you burn and you ache while you live your life alone and apart. Time passes and you think that you have figured out how to move on. That ache isn’t quite so prominent and the sense of loss feels less urgent and you really wonder if maybe you let go. For a moment you don’t know whether to be happy or sad about it and then something happens. A moment comes and you feel that crazy, mixed up sense of loss and recognize that you haven’t made the progress you thought you had.

“My mind’s distracted and diffused
My thoughts are many miles away
They lie with you when you’re asleep
And kiss you when you start your day.

And a song I was writing is left undone
I don’t know why I spend my time
Writing songs I can’t believe
With words that tear and strain to rhyme.

And so you see I have come to doubt
All that I once held as true
I stand alone without beliefs
The only truth I know is you.”

Kathy’s Song– Simon & Garfunkel

You have heard stories about stages of grief and tales of love undying. You can’t quite decide what to think or what to feel. Just when you thought you were beyond it all those intense feelings creep back in and you feel the fire as if it had never left you.

“I would give anything I own,
I’ll give up my life, my heart, my home,
I will give everthing I own
Just to have you back again
Just to touch you once again ”
Everything I Own– Bread

The biggest difference is that you don’t feel desperate like you once did. Now you feel the emptiness and doubt but there is some hope. Good old hope- unsought and undesired it has sprung up unexpectedly. You are torn and titillated by hope. It seems a little cruel for it to come to you this way but you remember that this has always been different and that is ok.

“Cecilia, you’re breaking my heart
You’re shaking my confidence daily
Oh, Cecilia, I’m down on my knees
I’m begging you please to come home
Come on home

Jubilation, she loves me again,
I fall on the floor and I’m laughing,
Jubilation, she loves me again,
I fall on the floor and I’m laughing”
Cecilia– Simon & Garfunkel

There is this crazy sort of confidence that has been created inside you that somehow you’ll get your moment. You can picture, touch and taste it. For a long time you thought that whatever you had must be dead inside her. You thought that it was dead because you couldn’t believe that she could stay so far away for so long. But that is not what you think anymore. Now you begin to smile because even though it doesn’t really make sense you have begun to believe that crazy voice inside you is right. Jubilation is coming. All you need to do is find a way to convince her to talk to you. All you need to do is to get her to read your words and the walls that have been erected will come tumbling down.

I can imagine the moment
Breaking out through the silence
All the things that we both might say
And the heart it will not be denied
Till we’re both on the same damn side
All the barriers blown away

I said please talk to me
Won’t you please come talk to me
Just like it used to be
Come on, come talk to me
I did not come to steal
This all is so unreal
Can you show me how you feel now
Come on, come talk to me
Come talk to me [x2]

I said please talk to me
If you’d just talk to me
Unblock this misery
If you’d only talk to me
Come Talk To Me– Peter Gabriel

Or at least you hope it is true.