“Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered–either by themselves or by others.”
– Autobiography of Mark Twain
I don’t quite know why I picked that particular quote other than it jumped out and asked me to use it. Or maybe it is because I am asking for my own inner genius to be discovered, not by Mensa but by millions of people who believe that they cannot live without my words. Consequently they will pay a reasonable sum to procure my prose for their own enjoyment.
Money isn’t the answer for everything but in regard to my current school dilemma it is most definitely the answer. That is because if money were no object I would send him back to the same school again. This is a far more painful process than I could have imagined and it makes me feel foolish.
Plan Ahead
I feel foolish because it seems like every year I agonize about where to send the kids to school. It makes me wonder why I just don’t beat myself over the head with a baseball bat. It is much faster and probably more effective than the mental mind fuck I put myself through.
When I look back and ask why I didn’t plan better I have to remind myself that I did. We bought a smaller house than the one we really wanted. It was because we figured we would live their for two years and leverage it into a bigger house in the neighborhood with the good public school. My oldest was ten months. It made sense, two years wasn’t that long and kindergarten was still off in the distance.
But life happened. Things happened.
I should have known better. I have seen firsthand how life can throw crap at you. I have been through earthquakes, riots and forest fires. I have buried friends. Some died from cancer and some got hit by cars. I have been to at least 40 funerals. I should have known better.
I couldn’t have known better. I couldn’t have predicted that things would go as they did. Couldn’t have predicted most of these things. Shouldn’t beat myself up about what I can’t control.
My Arch Enemy
If I am a superhero I am also a super villain. The man of steel carries his own Kryptonite. It is part of why I blog. I dig deep and search for the solutions to the situations that surround me.
More than a few of them are solved with relatively little fan fare but there are those that make me a bit crazier. I am a father. It is my job to be concerned.
I played two hours of basketball tonight. Two glorious hours of running up and down the court with friends. Scored 11 points in one game. Eleven points out of 15 total. Those points came because I have been practicing. Those points came because I have been putting time into improving my game.
I wish that my kids could have seen me. I wish they could have seen how all the time I put in paid off. I like teaching moments. I like being able to show them examples of cause and effect. When we talk about needing courage to live and how some things are a question of dignity I want to provide real life examples.
Would You Read These Words
I have been pushing hard to try and get more readers to this blog and over to Words Left Unwritten. It is a story that I am writing that has been very well received. Quite a few people have said that they really like it and told me they can see it being turned into a book.
That has been the goal all along to turn it into a book. I feel pretty good about it but there are moments where I read my words and think it is not quite what I want and that it is not good enough. I lack perspective on it. Would love for more people to read it and share their thoughts.
I just deleted about 250 words that I didn’t like. They were missing the rhyme and reason that I require to hit my standard. Been listening to music for the last 35 minutes and have decided that I really should be a musician.
I should be the guy who carries a guitar and can play almost anything. I can picture myself as this mysterious stranger who plays in small coffee shops, bars and restaurants. You’d listen to me play blues, rock and love songs. You’d hear a soft sweet voice sing and then morph into something deeper, louder and more powerful.
Too bad I don’t have any talent for it. If I found a genie I’d ask for that to be one of my wishes. Oh and I’d ask for enough money to never have to worry about paying for school again.
This post is part of the Just Write Project. Click on this link and learn more about it.
Middle school will give you gray hair. I was young back before my kids began middle school. Lol (don’t you hate people who write lol?) Anyway, I have two girls in middle school and a son who is long since done with school. It is a huge transition – sorry, but it is and you should be warned. Private or public – and I’ve done both, it’s more about finding your social standing than education. That comes into play again in highschool. The good news is that you will survive it, but the bad news is you’ll look older.
I kind of had a feeling that we’re heading down this road. Can’t say that I am surprised to hear about the transition.
My big concern is trying to make it easier because Little Jack isn’t real big on change. He’ll adapt and with a bit of luck he’ll do it faster than we think he will.
Not worried about the hair thing, by the time middle school ends it will have all fallen out. 😉
Two girls in middle school- that has to be…interesting.
For just writing your thoughts out; you talk a lot of sense! And there are so many under tones to this post, but the most prominent one is that again you are a harsh self critic. 🙂 You aren’t a bad dad; bad dads are those who don’t care. But you do!
As for what life is doing; it has planned to laugh at us; we are just going to laugh right back at it.
Yep, I am my biggest critic.