When I am at my best I dance without worrying about what I look like and write without concern for what I read or sound like. I know that I do things differently from most people. I know that I have spent most of my life standing on the outside looking in.
Guess what? So have most of you.
It took me a while to catch on and realize that the cool kids didn’t know a damn thing more about life and living than I did or do. I am proud to say that I never spent much time trying to be like them. Some of that was because I didn’t care and some because I couldn’t.
We didn’t have the money for me to wear the same clothes or go on the same trips so I couldn’t talk about some things without sounding like a silly poseur. Maybe that is when I started to become more cynical and grew a bit harder or maybe it happened after I had my heart broken a few times. Not really sure and I don’t know that it matters.
What matters to me is simple- family and friends.
What matters to me is doing things that feed my heart and fuel my soul. That is where my focus is and what I spend energy on.
I Know Who I Am
I know who I am. I know that there is a fire that burns inside my belly at a temperature that thermometers can’t measure. I know that I used to think of myself as being the easiest going person around and that one day I realized I am not quite who I thought.
I am intense. I come on like a freight train. When I play contact sports some people complain because I hit…hard. It is not because I am trying to prove how masculine or tough I am. It is because I have a body built for demolition and not for grace.
When I am going three quarters to full speed it takes a bit of doing to turn and or stop. Sometimes that means that I bump into people. When you outweigh someone by 80 pounds they tend to get the worst of it.
It sucks to get hit by the bigger truck. I know because it has happened to me a lot. When I play ball I usually get stuck guarding the bigger guys on the other side. All we can do is try our best not to hurt and get hurt.
But you can’t play the game without taking a chance. You can’t carry the ball up the middle and expect not to be hit. You can’t live life locked inside a box and expect to get all that you desire.
Take a Chance
I am excited and a bit nervous. I keep hinting at some of the potential changes going on around here. I keep dancing around the topic because until some things are certain I don’t want to speak more about them. Call it superstition.
I call it opportunity. I call it a chance to start a new chapter in my life and an opportunity to begin writing a new story. I call it crazy making because it is so close I can almost touch it and so far away that I can’t quite reach it.
Forgive me for the continued sports analogies, but it reminds me a bit of my last basketball game. I missed the shot I took and grabbed the rebound and missed it again…three more times.
Let me sum it up for you. In less than a minute I missed a shot from corner three point line, got the ball back and missed three under the basket. Got fouled three times and didn’t manage to put it in.
That irks me- but I didn’t quit. I just passed the damn ball and my team scored.
The lesson there is that when the door is locked you don’t have to break your hand or foot trying to break it down. There are alternatives.
Don’t Write For Traffic
I don’t blog for traffic or for accolades. I write because I have to. I write because I want to become a better writer. I blog because it offers a way to improve my writing and because there are business opportunities tied into it.
But mostly I do it because it brings me joy and when I am on my game it makes more than my soul sing. It brings me peace of mind and that is priceless.
I’ve been reading the $100 startup, an awesome business book, and one of the things I have learned from it is that the people who do things for money usually don’t earn the most money, and I believe that’s true for blogging and traffic as well. If you keep focusing on the things that are not part of who you are and not part of your passion, you won’t be as successful as you can be if you focus on the important stuff.Â
And that is what I love about your blog; you write for yourself first. I need to learn that from you…Â
“This above all, to thine own self be true.” That.is.all. (to quote another friend:) Cheers! Kaarina
 @KDillabough That sums it up quite nicely.
@AmeenaFalchetto @TheJackB ok, but why?? If no-one reads it?
@cominhomesoon traffic is a distracting thing – depends on what your goal is …
@AmeenaFalchetto to write, and have people read it…isnt that what every aspiring writer wants?
@cominhomesoon If your goal is to be a writer, then yes 🙂
Hi Jack! Writing for yourself eh!? Blogging comes full circle then. Isn’t that how it all started? Then it got so much more complicated! What was it like when you started eight years ago? Were people talking about traffic and comments and A-Listers then?
 @Lori
Hi Lori,
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When I first started that was what most of us did. We wrote about what interested us and did our best to build communities on our blogs. We didn’t have RSS, Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest or any of these other distractions.
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You went to the actual blog and read the posts there. You spent more time reading and engaging. There was more of an effort by bloggers to link to other posts in their stories and point out things that were interesting.
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No one talked about A-listers, at least I don’t remember them doing do. But they still paid attention to traffic and comments.
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Thank you for the encouraging words, Jack.
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I agree with Bill. You’re headed in the right direction, and people are going to rally behind you. 🙂
 @Erin F. Hi Erin,
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Thank you too. I am glad that we have become friends. I think there is a lot of room out here for all of us. Good things are coming.
 @TheJackB I sure hope so. I’m glad we’ve become friends, too.
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I’m working on some of my own plans, but I’m keeping them hush-hush for the time being. 🙂
Just keep doing what you are doing and doing it well and the people will show up regardless of what your mission is.Â
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I know your type; I always liked guarding the burly guy because even though I don’t have the ass to back it up, I don’t mind the contact. They didn’t call me Billy Defense for nothing………..:).Â
 @bdorman264 “If you build it, they will come.”
 @AdamBritten  @bdorman264 I sure hope so. I still want to know what lies on the other side of the cornfields.
 @TheJackB Everything your heart desires:)
 @bdorman264 I just like to tempt fate. I take on the burly guys. They usually can’t run as fast as I can or duck quite as quickly. 😉
 @Erin F.  @bdorman264 I have decent speed for a guy my size, quicker first step than most.
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But what I will always remember is the 285 pound beast who ran me down after I had a good 40 foot start on him. There are some mutants out there…
 @TheJackB  @bdorman264 There are! I knew one who was shorter than me but with a stocky build. She (Were you expecting a “he”? Heehee.) was a scary girl. I dreaded grappling with her.
 @Erin F. I concur; if you need to cut and run you can usually outrun them.
 @bdorman264Â
As they say in the old country, “from your mouth to G-d’s ears.” I am just rolling along trying to do my best and hoping it is good enough.
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Billy Defense, I know your type. I like the guy who doesn’t mind the contact. I pound on them for a while to see what they have got and then try to spin around them. When they expect to feel your back hit them and the hit empty space they fall.
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Of course sometimes you spin too quickly and instead of looking like Mike you look like Chuck the plumber just fell face first on the court.
 @TheJackB After the spin move then expect the hack attack……….call your own fouls……….no blood, no foul………….:).Â