Somewhere in the moments trapped between thought and the old clock on the end table I saw daylight and took off running.
I hit the wall at full speed but I wasn’t Wile E. Coyote so you didn’t see an outline of my body and the hole it left behind when I went through it.
Instead there was a loud crash, a thud and the sound of my rage at not having knocked it down.
You’d think I would know better than to pit bone and blood against wood and drywall but I didn’t and I don’t.
Because I hit it hard over and over and over again figuring it would break before I did.
The dream I could see regardless of whether I was awake or slumbering is what pushed me to keep going or maybe it was fear of losing the chance to follow the dream.
Maybe it was the dread I felt at the idea of never knowing if what I thought could be might slip away if I didn’t keep chasing after it.
I don’t know and I don’t care because it was and is all based upon a gut feeling, nothing more than a sense of running after my heart.
“I sat on the roof and kicked up the moss
Well, a few of the verses, well, they’ve got me quite cross”Your Song- Elton John
People will say and think what they will and they’ll offer their own thoughts and ideas whether you ask for them or not.
They’ll tell you every reason why you shouldn’t do something and never recognize their reasons are applicable to them because they are their reasons and not yours.
You’ll be filled with their fears and hopes with little to no regard for whether you should consider them.
Thing is most will do so with good intention never recognizing they are raining on your parade and this is why you’ll ignore them.
Because if you are going to live your life you must live yours and not theirs.
They aren’t going to reap the rewards or suffer the consequences of your actions.
How Do You Tear Down A Wall?
A traditional wall never stood a chance against me.
I am not built for grace but brawn and demolition are close friends and given my childlike interest in seeing just how much I can lift or move, well walls are temporary objects.
Except we don’t always encounter traditional walls which explains why sometimes I have found myself puzzled by why I couldn’t pull down, run through or knock them down.
Can’t tell you if I spent minutes or moments foolishly trying to scare the damn thing by giving it the glare that stops kids and people in their tracks.
Some people reflect that intensity back and others just walk away but walls aren’t people and it would seem pointless to personify them.
Except when it is not because when you name your fear it fades a bit and it is power is diminished or so the theory goes.
It took longer than I wish to admit to recognize I needed to change my approach and to accept brute strength wasn’t the key to success.
I jumped off of the cliff figuring I would learn to fly on the way down and somewhere between the air rushing past my ears and the sound of my heart beating I saw the answer.
A small button had always been a part of the framework but time and dust had obscured my view of it.
There was no need to do more than dust it off and polish it.
Followed it up by squirting some oil upon it and then I reached out and pressed the button.
There was a loud buzzing noise and the sound of footsteps.
Larry says
Like a pitcher whose fastball slips – learn how to pitch.
We’re getting older my friend and need to learn new tricks!
Jack Steiner says
Yep, got to learn a new pitch and adapt.