Blogging To Become A Better Father

Confession: I have a memory like an elephant and I have been known to hold a grudge which is why I wasn’t surprised when my daughter told me she didn’t like someone she had met a few times.

I knew he had done something to aggravate her and that she wasn’t going to just forget about it and let it go.

She laughed when I called her on it and said I understood and that I have a similar approach to people but I also made a point to tell her sometimes we need to be more forgiving.

“We need to be careful to distinguish between when people are/were nasty intentionally and when they inadvertently upset us because those things do happen.”

She agreed with me but I didn’t mention I am not always good at taking my own advice. Some people cross the line and it is hard for me to forget.

Blogging To Become A Better Father

That might sound like linkbait, but it is not.

Blogging is part of how I figure out how I think, feel and act. It is part of how I identify what is really going on in my life and what isn’t.

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I took the new job at the end of August because I expected it to help me provide a better life for my kids and I still expect it to do so.

However, things haven’t been as easy or as smooth as I had hoped and or expected so it has had its share 0f frustration, especially since I haven’t seen my family since August 26.

That is a long time and it hasn’t been easy, hell the thing that has made it palatable is building a better future.

But it has been hard because I know has fast things change and kids grow. We may talk and or Facetime every day but it is not the same as being there.

The most frustrating part of this has to be this sense that I haven’t made the kind of progress I had expected to and that things aren’t moving the way I want them to either.

Well, that is not entirely true, they are moving in the right direction but not at the speed I would like them to go and that is hard.

It is frustrating.

But it doesn’t mean I am not going to get where I hope and or expect to, just means that it is not moving at the pace I want.

That bothers me because I don’t want to feel like I am missing out on their lives now. I don’t want to feel like I am so focused on building a better future I miss today.

Ask me if I feel like I am on track and the answer is yes. I can look back at this post and say it is tied into what I felt then and know all is unfolding as it should, but dammit, it is not easy to be patient.

Keep On, Keeping On

The good news is I’ll see them all one week from today.

I am excited about it, but a little nervous.

There is a lot of chaos that is going to be tied into the visit and while I am sure it will all work out fine I am a little stressed about it.

That is what happens when you are in transition and are anxious to build a solid foundation. The seesaw nature pulls, pushes, twists and turns you.

So I am reminding myself here to just roll with it and not to get crazy about not having accomplished as much as I had wanted to.

The deadlines I have set in my head are part of what is making me crazy.

Time to adjust expectations and to just roll with it.

This is the joy of the journey, right.

Since I am one of those never say die, got to keep doing and going to see what happens kind of guys it is fair to say I’ll do the same as I always do and keep moving forward.

But it wouldn’t be a lie to say I am ready for a nap and nice vacation. 🙂