I am rarely at a loss for words and even if I don’t know the real answer to a question I am fast on my feet and easily capable of providing something that sounds like it might be right.
But there was a moment in time in which my daughter caught me with a question that I didn’t have the foggiest idea how to answer.
It wasn’t something I had ever thought about having to discuss in the sort of detail she wanted so I punted.
“You probably should ask your mother.”
P.S. If you want specific details click on the link above and then come back to read the rest of the post.
We’ll wait.
Daughter Stumps Father: Hard Questions
I thought about it because my darling girl asked me today to share the hardest question she ever asked me and I decided I didn’t feel like having that particular talk with her.
Don’t mistake that to mean I haven’t or won’t talk to her about boys because I have and I will.
But I am certain the “halfway through 7th grader can’t wait to be older” would be horrified if I told her exactly what she said when she was 6.5.
So I redirected the conversation and asked how many boys she is talking to on the school chat and how many she interacts with on Instgram and Snapchat.
“Dad, were you listening to me talk to Kathy?”
I shook my head no and asked why.
“Because I gave her advice for how to deal with Dylan. Are you sure you weren’t listening?”
I smiled and told her no but she said she didn’t believe me.
“You hear everything, even when you don’t look like you are listening, you usually are.”
“Dad has superpowers and super hearing. Don’t forget that.”
She rolled her eyes at me, gave me a hug and asked me to leave her room.
“I want to have girl time with my friends. You can go now.”
Things Are Different Now
Girl time doesn’t mean that she had friends over because in the modern world technology means you can have friends over via Facetime or any number of other video chatting services.
I hadn’t gotten out of the room before the giggling started and muted voices called after me, “Ask her about James” followed by my daughter telling her friend to hush because I might actually ask.
His name is one I haven’t heard before which makes me wonder if maybe there is something to him, at least in her eyes.
I made a point not to react, nor did I ask her about him later. Better to make a mental note to follow up later on.
Too much attention to these things might cause her to shy away, just as no attention might make it awkward later on.
****
I have worked hard to make sure she knows she can ask me questions about anything and have promised to be honest with my answers, and I have been.
But there are moments now where it feels like I am winging it more than ever. That is not a bad thing, just a part of how it goes.
Still if you asked my darling girl, she would tell you it is because things are different now.
All Things In Their Time
I used the quote to prove to my daughter that some things never change.
She sort of rolled her eyes at me, but smiled and I smiled back.
It is a little game she and I sometimes play. She likes to tease me about being old and I like to pretend to fall asleep while she does it because you know us old men need our naps.
****
One of the other old men in my group of old friends called the other day to catch up and to ask a favor.
“Do you want to beat up a 17-year-old boy for me? If I see him I think I might have to run him over with my car..”
“Is death too good for him or will a simple beating with rubber hoses and hammers work?”
He laughed and told me to just wait.
“One day your daughter will have a boyfriend and you’ll be subject to all sorts of fun. She’ll have you on the roller coaster. Heart break to happiness to heart break to happiness and it won’t just be her because her mom will use that as an opportunity to practice her future mother-in-law skills.”
I laughed and told him all things in their time.
“You think you have control, but hormones don’t care what parents think.”
I said he was right because I remember what it was like to be the kid with raging hormones but I figure there is plenty to worry about without being concerned about dating.
The unofficial rule is that it can’t start before 16 but that is sort of a fast and loose decision that was made without any real thought.
Can’t say yet whether it will be enforced or if it will need to be. I just know that as of this moment in time, I still have time and I am going to take advantage of it.
It sounds like you are enjoying your time with the kids – even with the tough questions.
My 7th grade boy seems to be in a different world. While he mentions people at school – including girls – he’s more interested in video games and sports.
It has been a good trip. My son was more video game and sports oriented at 12 too.