The JackB

"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

animals

War Declared on Angry Monkeys

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Sujoy Chaudhuri, an ecologist who co-authored a report by prominent primatologists and conservationists that was submitted recently to the federal and state governments, said the plan would make the monkey problem worse.

“It is a ridiculous idea and what is worse, it will do nothing to contain the problem and probably make it worse,” Chaudhuri said. “Can you imagine what having badly sterilized monkeys running around will do to the levels of aggression?”

Maybe they should try sending them to Fantasy Island. For Better or for worse the monkeys are taking over the world.

Catch A Tiger By Its Toe Eeny Meeny Miny Doh!

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Authorities still haven’t determined if these guys were taunting the tiger. Regardless it is a tragic event.

SAN FRANCISCO, California (AP) — The last minutes of a 17-year-old boy’s life were spent trying to save his friend from a brutal tiger mauling at the San Francisco Zoo, only to have the animal turn on him, police and family members said.

Carlos Sousa Jr. and his friend’s brother desperately tried to distract the 350-pound Siberian tiger, but the big cat instead came after Sousa.

“He didn’t run. He tried to help his friend, and it was him who ended up getting it the worst,” the teen’s father, Carlos Sousa Sr., said Thursday after meeting with police.

The heroic portrait of Sousa and a timeline of the dramatic Christmas Day attack emerged as officials revealed that the tiger’s escape from its enclosure may have been aided by walls that were well below the height recommended by the accrediting agency for the nation’s zoos.

San Francisco Zoo Director Manuel A. Mollinedo acknowledged that the wall around the animal’s pen was just 12½ feet high, after previously saying it was 18 feet. According to the Association of Zoos & Aquariums, the walls around a tiger exhibit should be at least 16.4 feet high.

Mollinedo said it was becoming increasingly clear the tiger leaped or climbed out, perhaps by grabbing onto a ledge. Investigators have ruled out the theory the tiger escaped through a door behind the exhibit.

“She had to have jumped,” he said. “How she was able to jump that high is amazing to me.”

Mollinedo said safety inspectors had examined the wall, built in 1940, and never raised any red flags about its size.

When Animals Attack

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Beneath their warm and fuzzy appearance lies the heart of a killer.

Innocent 3-year-old Kevin Santiago was sitting on the swing in the playground when the crazed varmint launched itself at him in a fury.

Day care centre director Maritza Diaz recounted the horror: ‘The squirrel attacked him and didn’t want to get off of the child. We threw things at it to try to get it off, and nothing.’

The incident escalated even further when a trooper who was attending an accident that had occurred in the vicinity of the playground came to the rescue. Abandoning the boy, the demonic tornado of fur leapt at the trooper, who couldn’t get it off.

And just in case you think this was a one time affair look at this:

It is Raining Cows

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I bet that their auto insurance tries to get out of paying for this.

MANSON, Wash. — A Chelan County fire chief says a couple were lucky they weren’t killed by a cow that fell off a 200-foot cliff and smashed their minivan. District 5 Chief Arnold Baker says they missed being killed by a matter of inches Sunday as they drove on Highway 150 near Manson.

The 600-pound cow fell about 200 feet and landed on the hood of the minivan carrying Charles Everson Jr. and his wife Linda of Westland, Mich., who were in the area celebrating their one-year wedding anniversary. They were checked at Lake Chelan Community Hospital as a precaution.

The van was heavily damaged, including a broken windshield. Charles Everson says he kept repeating, “I don’t believe this. I don’t believe this.” The year-old cow had been reported missing by a breeder. It was euthanized at the scene.