"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx
From our friends at New Scientist we offer: A free guide to the toilets of the world
It is a story about how the Swiss have produced a guide to every type of toilet in the world. This is the sort of information that you might not ever come across and hopefully never need, but just in case you do….
All it takes is one good earthquake or a three hour tour on the Minnow and you might wish that you had this guide to help you. So go ahead and print it out. 😉
Maybe I won’t go visit Japan. They’re telling people to walk around with plastic bags and toilet paper just in case.
“In the event of a catastrophic earthquake, Japanese officials say more than 800,000 people would have trouble finding a toilet in Tokyo.
As a result, Masaya Takahashi, a cabinet official, tells the Associated Press that the Central Disaster Prevention Council determined that “toilet needs” require more attention from government planners.
“He noted that the search for toilets might cause unnecessary panic,” the wire service says. “The city has said it plans to make toilets available at schools, convenience stores, gas stations and other public facilities, but the report urged further effort.”
This is a major public health issue. Reuters says the panel reported that the “biggest problem faced by survivors of the [1995] Kobe earthquake was not food or clothing, but a lack of toilets.”
This story is too bizarre to pass up.
“BALTIMORE – A West Virginia man is suing a Frederick County, Md., doctor for allegedly stapling his rectum shut during an operation, preventing the patient from defecating for 17 days,”
For more on the story please click here.
On a side note I cannot help but wonder how long the man waited before going to see his doctor about this. Something about this story stinks. My apologies for providing this sort of crap for you to read.
My buddy Attila is responsible for this post as he found the story of the incinerating toilet. Now before we get too far up the creak without our paddle let me say that the title of the post is intentionally inflammatory.
But I just can’t help myself. In fact if I didn’t engage in the occasional attempt at scatalogical humor I’d have to raise a bit of a stink. Anyhoo, let’s take a closer look.
“ECOJOHNâ„¢ Sr is a waterless self-contained toilet that incinerates the waste into a sterile ash that needs to be emptied only a few times per year. Installing the Sr is also very easy. Simply connect the chimney system (than comes with the purchase), hook up the Propane and power connection, and the toilet is ready to use.”
I am still laughing. It reminds me of a small variation on the old exploding cigar trick.
I’ll let you use your imagination as to what that picture might look like. 😉
Sorry, I am sure that the product works exceptionally well, but I am a bit paranoid about a toilet that uses propane. The term flagrante delicto comes to mind, although it is probably not exactly the one I am looking for.
There is just something about getting caught with my pants down around my ankles while astride a potty that might pop. Talk about a need for no smoking in the bathroom. Oy!
This is the kind of thing that would make me crazy.
“Qantas has been hit by another embarrassing flight incident, this time diverting an aircraft because the plane’s toilets were full.
The Sydney Morning Herald reports that flight QF571, flying from Sydney to Perth, was forced to stage an unplanned stop in Adelaide in order to empty the toilets.
The flight had originated in Honolulu, but ground staff forgot to empty the toilets when the plane landed in Sydney. An hour into the plane’s next flight, three of the toilets had stopped working.
“They told us that under any reasonable calculation, the rest of them would go pretty quickly,” one businessman told Fairfax Media during the plane’s cleaning stop in Adelaide.
“All this discussion of toilets triggered an urgent need to go in just about everyone,” he said.
“We did ask for more red wine to be brought on board, but it was felt not to be a priority.”
The incident came after another Qantas flight was delayed for 16 hours yesterday in London with a rudder problem. Passengers spent the night in hotel rooms provided by Qantas.
Want to know more? Click here.
My children provide a never ending source of blog fodder. The questions they ask, the stories they tell and the things that they do provide a steady pipeline of material. The hard part is that some of these stories seem to repeat themselves over and over, with just a slight variation on how they are told/come about.
This next story comes courtesy of the lad that the good people call “Little Jack.”
He recently told me that he is the smartest boy in the house. When I asked why he explained that I don’t go to school and that I have an “old brain.” Anyway, the conversation meandered about and eventually led to our standard question and answer time. The “Q&A” session is something that we do on a regular basis. It gives him a chance to ask me to answer the burning questions on his mind and it provides me with a chance to try and pick his brain about his day.
The conversation about The World’s Strongest Penis began as a discussion about how to use public urinals. That is a conversation that we have had a number of times. In a different post I’ll have to rant and rave about how some women tried to teach him and the other boys to pee. It may sound ridiculous, but there is a reason for my irritation.
For now let’s talk about how some of the boys at camp have helped educate him about all sorts of stuff, including new and exciting vocabulary words.
Son: Dad, Jake says that his mom told him that the penis is a man’s strongest muscle.
Me: His mom and dad don’t live together, do they.
Son: No, how’d did you know that?
Me: Just a hunch. What else did Jake say?
Son: He said that his dad had the most powerful penis in the world. I said that he was wrong and that you do.
Me: (Mental note to self: Add note to resume, “most powerful penis in the world.) Oh you did. I appreciate that, but you don’t need to tell people that. It is a private thing.
Son: Ok, I’ll tell him that you don’t want to talk about your penis.
Me: That’s ok. You don’t need to tell him. In fact it is probably better that you don’t discuss it.
Son: Why, are you embarrassed about your penis?
Me: No, I am perfectly happy with it. It works just the way it is supposed to. Remember when we talked about a broken penis. Everything is fine, it is just not something that we discuss with others.
Son: What about the doctor? Can we talk to the doctor about our penis?
Me: Yes, the doctor is fine.
Son: How about a policeman? Can we talk to the policeman?
Me: Only if you need to file a missing penis report. (Sometimes I just can’t help myself.)
Son: Can people steal your penis? (you can’t imagine the look of horror on his face.)
Me: No, I just exaggerating. No one can steal your penis. It is attached just like your arm or leg.
Son: But if you have an accident you can cut off your arm or your leg. What if you had an accident and you cut off your penis.
Me: Might be kind of hard to pee. I don’t think that you have to worry about that one.
Son: You can’t cut off Superman’s penis unless you have Kryptonite.
Me: I have never thought about it, but I suppose you’re right.
Son: And Iron Man is safe. You can’t cut off an iron penis.
Me: Actually Iron Man is a guy who wear a special suit. Outside of his armor he is vulnerable.
Son: He better not take off his suit, someone might cut his penis off.
Me: He is a comic book hero, that kind of stuff never happens to them. Do you have any more questions?
Son: How strong is your penis?
Me: I don’t know. It is not like your arms or legs. It doesn’t have to be strong to do its job.
Son: Why did Jake’s mom say that it is a strong muscle?
Me: I don’t know.
Son: That doesn’t make sense.
Me: You’re going to find that life is full of things that don’t make sense. Has Jake’s mom said anything else?
You’ll have to stay tuned for the rest of the conversation. In the meantime if you’re interested in posts that are somewhat related you’re welcome to read the stuff below.
Penis Talk Revisited
My Penis Died
More Questions about Body Parts
Great Moments In Parenting- Parts of our Body That Grow