The JackB

"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

Holidays

Pesach Notes

And now for a couple of comments regarding Pesach. I am going to create a new minhag for my family. If you spend too much time complaining about the seder, tell me that you cannot understand why I would believe a myth, and repeatedly wonder aloud about people that are too Jewish you will become the plague vessel.

I will smile broadly and encourage you to sit on the Kiseh Shel Elijah. Once you have planted your rump on the chair I will dazzle you with a tale of bondage. Did I mention that during the recitation of this tale of bondage I will see that you are tied securely to said chair.

You’ll then serve a prime role in the recitation of the plagues.

Blood- I shall douse you in red sauce.
Frogs- I shall fill your trousers with frogs.
Gnats- Gnats love the red sauce you are wearing.
Death of Livestock- Better hope that you are not a farmer, because old Bessie will see Jack the shochet.
Boils- I’ll get creative for this one.
Hail- All the guests will spit ice at you.
Locust- Try sitting with a shirt full of locust.
Darkness- I’ll blindfold you.
Death of the First Born- I’ll get back to you on this one.

I’d write more but I truly am too irritated to do so. Excuse me while I go outside and pound the crap out of my heavy bag.

Happy Pesach

Chag sameach from all of us at the Shack. We wish you a very happy and healthy Passover. May your seders be meaningful, may our captives be redeemed and on a less serious note may your cholesterol not go through the roof.

Apple Matzah Kugel

I love this stuff:

9×13 pan

8 matzahs

Soak in hot water until soft. Drain but do not squeeze dry.

Beat six eggs and one teaspoon of salt thoroughly

Add 1 cup sugar
1 stick melted margarine
2 teaspoons of cinnamon

Add everything to matzah mixture

Stir in one cup of raisins and four large grated apples

Bake at 350 for 45 minutes

dot tip with margarine.

Struggling With Pesach

In a short time Pesach will be here again. I am excited about it. It really is one of my favorite holidays but lately it has been quite a struggle for me. I am not really sure why but I have less motivation than normal to try and clean the house of chametz.

I look around the JBlogosphere and I see many posts about the craziness that has enveloped their homes. One story after another in which mothers /wives speak of the challenge of getting the house ready and the fathers/husbands talk about how to keep everyone happy.

Perhaps it is because I am short on caffeine. Or maybe it is something else, but I can’t say that I know exactly what bothers me this year.

On a different tack I can say that I am looking forward to the seders. My son has been working with me on the Four Questions as well as hammering me on the same question from last year.

Abba, tell me why pharoah was bad. Tell me why the plagues happened. Tell me why the Egyptians killed the babies and why G-d killed theirs. Do you think that Moshe is really dead. Does Elijah get a stomach ache from eating all that food?

Whew!

A number of years ago some friends and I played around with creating a Star Wars seder. It was kind of a goofy, nerdy concept but it would have been a lot of fun.

I am still not convinced about kitniyot. This is going to lead back to the age old discussion/comment about picking/choosing what to follow.

Anyhoo I have to get back to reality. Here are a couple of links to other posts I have written about Pesach.

Some Passover Musings

Passover

NY bus converted into oven for matzos

Here is some creative thinking you don’t see every day.

SPRING VALLEY, N.Y. – It wasn’t your typical fire. When police responded to a report that something smelled of smoke in the middle of the night, they found an old school bus that had been converted into a supersized oven for Passover matzos — complete with a smokestack, exhaust fans and working fire.

A building inspector said that while the bakery bus wasn’t nearly up to code, it was “very creative.”

The derelict red-and-white bus, connected by a plywood passageway to a single-family house, was out of sight of casual passers-by in a Hasidic Jewish neighborhood and had apparently escaped the notice of authorities.

Its owner, Rabbi Aaron Winternitz, said Monday he had been making the unleavened bread there for three Passovers and was eager to do the same this year, with Passover coming up in a week.

Winternitz made them for his 50-member Congregation Mivtzar Hatorah. Observant Jews eat matzo during Passover week to illustrate how the Jews had no time to let their bread rise as they fled slavery in Egypt.

He said that the oven-in-a-bus was his invention, and that he purposely bought an old school bus because “school buses are made strong and safe.”

Police Sgt. Lou Scorziello said police traced the smoke to the bus at about 3 a.m. Friday. He said the back door of the bus, formerly the emergency exit, was the oven door. “All the seats had been removed and the whole inside was an oven,” he said.

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