Judaism

In a few short hours Kol Nidre will begin, Yom Kippur will start and judgment day will begin. That sounds a bit dramatic and in some ways it is. I don’t have it in me right now to give a proper introduction or background. So if you would like to learn more specific details about Yom Kippur you can go here.

Yom Kippur is a hard day for me. It is hard for a whole host of reasons. Somewhere deep inside my head are the memories of a little boy being taught about who would be inscribed in the book of life and who would not. I can almost hear the voice. It is a sing song, who shall live and who shall die. If you take that kind of thing seriously it is hard not to feel the weight of the day.

In recent years I have become quite conscious of when people die. By that I mean those who die right before the chagim really strike me. I guess that I kind of visualize the year as a race, a combination of sprint and marathon. Of course not everyone finishes the race, but to me the deaths of those who fall just before the finish line (Rosh Hashanah/Yom Kippur) seem harder. I can’t help but wonder why they weren’t given a little more time, just enough to watch the clock turn and start the new year.

This past year had some tough moments. A good friend had a complete breakdown. They went from being normal (whatever that means) into something else. Coherent thought disappeared and reappeared.

A dear friend of the family suddenly dropped dead. One moment he was there and the next he was gone. There wasn’t any miracle, no last minute reprieve from the governor. He was just gone.

A few more marriages ended. They rode the horse as long as they could and that was it. In one case I think that they actually shot the horse and then in their anger and pain they took it out on each other.

Earlier this week they found another family friend lying on the floor of her office. A massive heart attack hit her. The estimate that she was down for about five minutes. Right now she lies in the ICU and it is unclear whether she will recover and if she does, what kind of shape will she be in.

There are other stories that I could tell. They probably aren’t that different from anyone else. We’re here for a brief moment in time, the flame burns for only so long.

In happier news a friend told me that he has discovered his besheret. We had a very interesting discussion that I may turn into a separate post. The gist of it is that we debated what impact life experience has upon falling in love. Part of the question is whether there is a better time to fall in love, or should I say a better age.

Maturity brings some advantages. The opportunity to learn more about yourself and what you need to be happy can be quite useful. But as I said, that is a discussion for a later day.

All I know is that it was fun to hear the joy in his voice. As he described her you could feel his delight and his unmitigated joy. I wish them nothing but continued joy and love.

Tomorrow I’ll continue my tradition of layning Torah. I have the usual apprehension and angst about it, but if I didn’t do it I’d be disappointed. It is a honor and a privilege and something that I find adds meaning to the chag.

Just a few more comments about judgment. If I accept the concept/reality of judgment I have acknowledge that my record for the past year is what it is. I will be judged upon that. If I merit a reward or punishment I suppose that this is what will happen.

So I wish you all a G’mar Chatima Tova. I’ll see you on the other side.

Sticky post- New Content is found below.

Joe Settler has a guest post at The Muqata that made me think about an ongoing debate I have had with some friends. Actually it is a discussion that has been ongoing for years. In simple terms you could say that the topic of the discussion is matrilineal versus patrilineal descent.

For my non-Jewish readers if you want some background on this topic you might want to try reading this and potentially you might also look at this. And don’t forget that two Jews equals three opinions.

Years ago I was very much against recognizing patrilineal descent. It made me uncomfortable. I didn’t like it at all. To be honest, I didn’t really spend any time thinking about it. All I did was accept the position that had been spoonfed to me by others.

However after some consideration I reversed my position on this. In part I base this upon experiences I shared with my own family. For the purpose of clarity my family consists of Orthodox (Both MO and Black Hat), Conservative and Reform Jews as well as those who have intermarried and are raising the children outside of Judaism.

At a family gathering some years ago I had a conversation with a cousin who had become a BT. I grew up on the West Coast and he on the East so we didn’t get to see each other too often. What I did know was that while both parents are Jewish he wasn’t given any sort of religious training. No Bar Mitzvah, just a couple of summers at a Jewish camp.

Not unlike many BTs he came at me with a lot of energy and fervor as to why falling off of the derech was nothing more than a temporary position and how he could help me get back on. During the course of this conversation we landed upon the question of denominations, authentic Judaism and who was right about this and that.

He didn’t like patrilineal descent. He parroted the opinions of some others about watered down Judaism and told me that we couldn’t pick and choose. I disagreed on all accounts. In regard to the topic of the post I found myself arguing in favor of patrilineal descent because of its inclusivity.

Sixty years after the Holocaust I look around and think that there is no reason for us not to try and embrace all Jews and bring them into the fold. I know so many people whose mother may not be Jewish but father is. What does it hurt to encourage them to look at their heritage and to try and bring them home.

Orthodox Judaism is never going to be for everyone. But it is not the only way. Why shouldn’t we make it clear that we would be happy if they were Conservative or Reform. With all the people out there targeting us for conversion I want to get to our own people first because if we do not we know that someone else will be waiting for them with open arms.