The JackB

"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

Random Thoughts

Words on a Page

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I am sitting here in a state of mild shock. a lonely tear carving a path down my cheek. Just moments ago I sat here listening to AFI’s 100 top movie quotes and found myself totally entranced by the images, sounds and memories the words and music.

That tear surprised me and not just because I typically do not cry. I am not completely sure what caught me, but I have my ideas. I suspect that part of it is because the combination did what it is supposed to do. That magical combination of images, sounds and music conjured up something majestic and beautiful inside my head. It made me feel and reminded me that I have a passion that remains bottled up.

I write these posts for a million different reasons. I write these posts because they serve as an exceptional creative outlet. I write these posts because they allow me to chronicle the lives of my children and the thoughts that I have. These posts provide a snapshot of my life during brief moments of time. These posts serve as markers for the journey my life has taken up to now and they hint at where it may yet go.

The Almost Warrior who remembers a past that never was and a future that may never be. I look at These Pictures of You and think that perhaps Lightning Strikes Twice. You don’t really know what life holds. Sometimes life is impacted by Timing or by the unexpected moments and events. There are things that happen that rock your world.

I write about the moments that touch me, those from the past and the present. I write about my dreams and my nightmares. I take the pieces of my life, the things I have seen and those that I want to see and weave my tapestry, I don’t always succeed. I don’t a;ways hit the mark, at least I often feel like I have fallen short. Sometimes I wish that I had an Instant Messenger that I could call upon to better convey my thoughts about how Johnny Was A Hero but it doesn’t always work that way.

Sometimes A Father’s Responsibility gets in the way. Sometimes The Pressures of Parenthood and the things that come with it make it difficult to remember that though you may be called dad, you have dreams that you still have chase. And somehow you have to balance your responsibilities to your family with those that you owe yourself.

So you stand up and remember that there is a A Love Song That Needs To Be Written and you will be the one to write it. At the end of the day I want to do something that provides an end result that is more than just words on a page. One way or another I am going to write that book. One way or another I am going to tell a story that is more than the 800 words or so I average on these posts.

2010 is many things. It is the year of Jack and the year of the Daddy Blogger. I am guest blogging over at Clark Kent’s Lunchbox today. Go say hi to my friend Ron and while you are at it let me know what you think of my post over there.

If you’re new here and you have read this far take a moment to go back through this post and click on the links. You’ll find that I have intentionally mixed in posts that contain part of a story I am writing alongside posts about being a father. And if I have done my job properly perhaps you’ll become a new reader and join the rest of us on this wacky journey through life.

Ok, I have babbled enough. It is well after midnight now and the morning will be here far too soon. Lailah tov from Los Angeles.

Poor Timing

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Perhaps the timing on this ad promoting 2012 could be better. The screenshot here shows a bridge collapsing and fireballs striking the earth next to a headline that reads “Chile Quake May Have Shifted Earth’s Axis.”

Morning Notes

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Monday, Monday- no I am not going to do my own version of The Mamas & Papas song, rather I am whining about the things that accompany my Monday. In spite of appearances I really prefer not to whine. It rarely does anything to improve my situation and more often than not exacerbates it.

But since I am complaining here is my primary issue. My @@$^%#&%&^% eyes are still giving me trouble. Went to the doc last week and was told that it was some sort of eye infection. Seemed to make sense, had itchy eyes that were burning and producing that lovely discharge. Doc prescribes an antibiotic and tells me to take it for five days. Being a good patient I follow doctor’s orders and find myself with eyes that are slightly improved by dry as ^#%^&#^&.

The damn things feel like the Sahara so I ask for help and am told to take some artificial tears. That works to a point, but still doesn’t solve the problem. And did I mention that these suckers are puffy? I look like I just spent the last decade living in cleveland. Talk about looking like some kind of sad looking hobo.

So I head out to the doc again determined to get more help. It is five days since my initial visit. Two hours of sitting with the people at urgent care. That is an experience. A room full of sick and cranky people and their relatives. People of every nationality and socio-economic class are represented there.

Under different circumstances it might have been interesting, but not this trip. I wasn’t up for it. Anyhoo, I finally get to see the doc on call and am told that he thinks that my issue is due to allergies, tells me that the rains have kicked up all sorts of pollen. I mention that I had LASIK nine years ago and he tells me that they have noticed that many of us have dry eye issues 10 years out and tells me to take artificial tears.  He also
sends me off with a new eyedrop for the allergies, an OTC that is more powerful than the one I have at home.

I leave the office hoping he is right. I am allergic to cats, crazy people and lactose intolerant. Notice that list doesn’t include mention of any other allergies because for 40 some years there hasn’t been anything else. But I figure that I’ll trust his judgment and hope that he is correct.

Two days later I am sitting here writing this post mad as hell. My eyes don’t itch or burn, but they are dry and puffy. The puffiness is affecting my vision. It is primarily in my left eye. I am having some difficulty reading small print. I suspect that at some point I am going to need reading glasses, but I don’t think that my eyes have actually changed. Every time I use the artificial tears there is momentary improvement.

All I know is that this is irritating the T#&^%&^%# out of me.

Healthcare, Funerals, Costco,Coke and Libel

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Nothing like more sturm und drang  in my life to make things interesting. I asked people to answer why they blog and received some interesting answers. Not unlike many of you I am here because it provides both an outlet and a chronicle of my life.

Posts like this one will be something that my children and grandchildren can read so that they understand that my life is like theirs. It is filled with moments of routine punctuated with bouts of craziness. That goes well with the wacky man they call dad now and may call grandpa in the future. Don’t call me grandpa today because I am not old and I will kick your ass, male, female, feline or otherwise.

I received a letter today informing me that my healthcare costs are going to more than double in 2010. Since I am independently wealthy and without a care in the world I wasn’t fazed at all by this.In fact I felt so bad about not being able to empathize with people I tasered my own scrotum.

There, that should make for the kind of search term I don’t want associated with the blog. But at the moment I am too frustrated to care.

Stevie Ray Vaughn’s The House Is Rockin’  just came on iTunes. If my life were a movie it would be an appropriate song to play now. It’d be one of those time line bits where you’d see me running frantically to try and overcome a challenge. By the time it ended I’d be out of breath but a huge smile would grace my lips and the screen would fade to black.

Except my life isn’t a movie, or a sitcom or a play. The crap that was flung on me isn’t a prop, it is real and it stinks. Blast.

Found out last night that my fraternity brother’s wife died. I don’t know all of the details other than she was 40, it wasn’t suicide or car accident. It was some sort of health issue that snuck up on them, or so it was described to me.

She is the third contemporary of mine to die since May. Two mothers and a man, all aged 40. All died because of some sort of health issue.

Queen, I am Going Slightly Mad  is now playing. Again, an appropriate song. I am going mad. It finally happened, I took that last step, you know the one that Bugs Bunny refers to as a “Lulu.” Damn, life might be easier if this was a Looney Tunes cartoon.

The funeral starts in about ten minutes. I was very seriously thinking about going, but chose not to. Haven’t seen the husband in several years and have exchanged just an email or two during that time. I was torn about the decision not to go, but I have a ton of stuff to handle. He won’t miss me, I’ll send a card.

Don’t mean to sound callous, but we all have to take care of our stuff. Right now I am doing the best that I can to take care of mine. Of course being told that the privilege of seeing the doctor and providing for my family’s well being is going to become more difficult has influenced this.

Damn, damn and damn again. On to a different topic.

******

I just read that Costco and Coke are having a disagreement. I bet Costco wins this fight.

ATLANTA – Costco customers may have to look elsewhere for Coca-Cola products now that the retailer has stopped carrying them because the pair are fighting over prices.

The public squabble between one of the nation’s largest wholesale club operators and the world’s largest soft drink maker is likely to fizzle quickly. But it reveals real tensions as retailers and product makers square off on prices.

As shoppers continue to grapple with the recession, retailers want to win their favor by giving them low prices. But that has been creating tension between product makers like Coca-Cola Co., who are working hard to maintain profit margins while meeting retailer demands.

In other news there is a new report about the influence Twitter has on the world. Courtney Love is being sued for libel for something she tweeted. But it is not limited to celebrities, this issue that is.

Consider the case of Amanda Bonnen and her former landlord. Bonnen, an Illinois resident, is accused of using Twitter to tell another user: “Who said sleeping in a moldy apartment was bad for you? Horizon Realty thinks it’s okay.”

Horizon Group Management LLC, the company that owned the apartment in question, sued Bonnen for libel over the alleged tweet. Horizon is seeking $50,000 in damages.

Legal experts say such Internet-related cases are being watched closely because they confront new and unaddressed areas of American law.

For example, how should a libel case be handled when it comes to social media? How can society balance accountability with free speech? And if information — from private thoughts to public data — is so readily available, how do we define what constitutes privacy?

There are other examples of ordinary citizens who are in legal trouble in the article. It is a reminder that there are risks in using social media. Twitter, blogs, Facebook and the like can all have an impact upon your life in ways that we might not immediately foresee.

These are more than cautionary tales. They are real life examples of things that need to consider when you are playing online. It is not completely clear where the lines will be drawn, but eventually the courts will come up with something. In the interim remember that the boundaries are fluid.

Ain’t life grand.

I Broke My Nose, maybe

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I think that I might have broken my nose last week. Took a look at the symptoms that the good folks at The Mayo Clinic  list on their site and found myself nodding my head to a few of them:

  • Pain or tenderness, especially when touching your nose.
  • Bruising around your nose or eyes.
  • Crooked or misshapen nose
  • Difficulty breathing through your nose

Hmmm…, my nose is a bit tender and I have a nice shiner over my left eye. The old shnozz is a bit crooked, but I have broken it more than a couple of times so it hasn’t been straight in years, if ever. And let’s not forget the breathing thing.

It is a bit off, but I am not sure if it is really any worse than it has been for years. Ask those that have had the pleasure of being around me while I am sleeping and they’ll tell you that I snore. Ask my roommate from that famous summer of ’85 and he’ll you that it was my snoring that led to a major fight.

Every night he’d wake me up and complain that I was snoring. Each time he did it I would apologize, but it wasn’t something that I had control over. After several weeks of this I told him that he needed to get some ear plugs. I couldn’t help it and as it happened my roommate Chuckles the clown was an exceptionally light sleeper.

He got angry and started screaming at me. I got angry and threw his bed out of the window, the second story window that is. Haven’t seen him in years now, rumor has it that he is a writer for some crime show in Hollywood whose name is similar to KFI.

So the truth is that I am not really sure that my breathing is any worse than normal. It could be, but it might not be. It is more than 20 years since I broke it the first time so I can’t remember anymore what it was like to breathe with an unbroken nose.

I broke it the first time during a wrestling match with the president of my fraternity. Took an elbow to it, heard the crack and noticed that my mouth and chin had some red substance all over them. So I did what all dumb boys do, I stuffed some kleenex in it and rejoined the battle.

It didn’t really hurt all that much. I had so much adrenaline flowing through me that I didn’t really notice. A short time later I checked myself out in the bathroom and discovered that it didn’t look right anymore. So I took a quick trip to the ER and confirmed that it was indeed broken.

Later decided to get it fixed, had it done and then managed to break it again. Decided that it was pointless to have surgery a second time so I just ignored it. On a side note, the 19 year-old Jack discovered that girls were very sympathetic towards a boy who had broken his nose. Not that I tried to milk that situation at all, I would never do that.

Anyhoo, last Tuesday night I was playing ball with the boys and a youngster came flying through the middle of the lane and smote me upon my nose and eye. I say youngster because he is a few weeks short of turning 19. Talked a lot of trash this boy, called me dad and then he smote me. Don’t ask why I am using smote, just feel like it.

Well, you should have seen the look on his face after he hit me. It was an accident, but as I understand it flames were shooting out of my nostrils. He apologized immediately. I was silent. I was pissed with him, but I knew that he didn’t mean it and didn’t feel like swearing at him. Not to mention that I knew my silence would be more intimidating than anything I could express verbally.

I played for another hour or so and went home. On the drive back I noticed that my nose felt sore, but didn’t think much of it. The next day I noticed the shiner and rolled my eyes at the guy staring back at me. WTF happened to Mr. Invulnerable.

I don’t get hurt like this. I might get some nicks and scrapes, a bruise even, but this…C’mon, this is the second black eye in the past three months. But because I am a little boy at heart I consoled myself with this thought, “I can still take a shot to the head.”

Kind of silly, but it is me. I haven’t any intention of getting in a fight or any sort of physical altercation. I don’t need the hassle, but if it happened it is good to know that I can still take it. And of course I have to add the caveat that I always intend to do more than give as good as I get.

I am Jack, hear me roar, or is that snore…..

A Few Yom Kippur Mumblings

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It is several hours now since I broke my fast and I’d like to say that I feel spiritually cleansed, But the reality is that I have an icepick shoved halfway up my right nostril and there is a broken broom handle protruding from a place it doesn’t belong.

I suppose that is rather graphic, but it accurately describes the affect of having intentionally ignored the joy of my caffiene addiction. I had tried to plan for this, really I had, er did. I cut down on the coffee and refused to drink any on Sunday. It wasn’t easy, lately that cup of Joe has brought the sort of smile to my face that intimate contact would.

Really, I have had some amazing cups and I have thoroughly enjoyed them, but I digress.

Anyhoo, for those of you who have never experienced a day like this let me share a little bit about it. People who fast have dragon breath and short tempers. It is not really surprising. If you don’t feed the animals we get cranky.

And the lack of food/water creates a lovely condition called Halitosis that would be perfect for warfare. In fact one of the men I spoke with today should report immediately to the Pentagon or CDC and offer his services. His breath burned my beard right off of my face and rendered six senior citizens unconscious.

I did my usual bit of leining Torah. The Dark haired Beauty cheered me on again. That sweet little girl made me smile. When I started doing this a thousand years ago I had no idea that one day my children would be there to see me.

There being there is not the reason why I do it, but it is real bonus. I especially appeciate the commentary from “Little Jack” who told me that I was so loud I woke up the guy who was sleeping. Speaking of which should I ever decide to get smicha and become a pulpit rabbi I won’t let my congregants sleep.

No sir, fall asleep while I am talking and you become the poster boy, literally. I’ll hand out sharpies and watch people decorate you. Ok, I wouldn’t really do that. But I might make you wear a funny hat or wave a chicken over your head. Who knows.

And how was your Yom Kippur?