The JackB

"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

Sex

Sex And Blogging- My ‘R’ Rated Post Woohoo

This is a recycled post from here, but it is still applicable

You know I really shouldn’t be surprised at the number of blog entries throughout this vast blogosphere that are about sex. There are literally thousands upon thousands in which people describe their conquests, fantasies, fears and illusions.

Now maybe I am becoming a cranky old man, I do aspire to be the neighborhood curmudgeon, but I have a couple of random questions/statements to make.

In my travels throughout cyberspace I have stumbled across a number of blogs in which the authors are not just talking about sex, but bragging about their skills. I find that kind of funny for a number of reasons.

  1. Back in the day when I was a wee lad you never heard women speak about sex, at least not in my neighborhood. It wasn’t until college that I heard women speak about what they really wanted and it was real eye opener for me.
  2. I laugh at the number of female bloggers who brag about their oral sex ability. The posts that I have seen always include a hearty promotion of their ability at giving it as if no one else was capable of being so skillful.
  3. Many of the men write about being such amazing lovers that they were literally beating the women off with sticks.

In short, I have rarely seen posts that strike me as being real life experiences in which people admit to having bad experiences where the sex was fair or terrible and or including their participation as being the reason it was bad.
Because the reality is that even though people are sexual beings there are all sorts of factors that go into good sex and what feels good to one person may not translate to another.
If we are going to share this kind of intimate detail about ourselves it might actually be more interesting and more fun to read about the bad experiences than the good ones.

Secrets of The One Night Stand Revealed

Live Science is always good for an interesting article or two. Not unlike many other publications some of the news deals with the obvious. This story about One Night Stands touches upon that. Where else can you read that men lower their standards and women feel flattered.

“When it comes to one-night stands, men and women are poles apart. Guys just want, well, you know, while gals go to bed with the false impression of flattery and a craving for feeling desirable.

The upshot, according to new research, is great for most men and the pits for most women. The study goes further under the covers, delving into the nuances of casual sex and its potential as a Venus-and-Mars minefield.

Among the findings: Women were not hooking up in an effort to secure a long-term beau, but because they felt flattered by the overnight proposition.

They were mistaken.

As the researcher points out, men lower their standards when it comes to one-night stands, so the presumed flattery is a fantasy or close to it.

“Often [women] said things like, ‘I felt so flattered, so happy that he found me attractive. It was so nice to be wanted,'” said researcher Anne Campbell, a psychologist at Durham University in England. “What women don’t seem to see is that men drop their standards massively for a one-night stand.”

Click here to read the whole story.

100 days of sex

All done in the name of the science:

Denver Post lifestyle reporter Doug Brown and his wife, Annie, were featured on NBC’s “Today Show” this morning discussing a book about their sex lives.

Doug Brown wrote the book after Annie suggested that they have sex every day for 100 days. She said that after 14 years together, their sex life had become stale.

“Just Do It: How One Couple Turned Off the TV and Turned on their Sex Lives for 101 Days (No Excuses!),” details the journey.

“Immediately, I had second thoughts,” Annie Brown told interviewer Ann Currie in this morning’s interview.

“When I would tell my girlfriends about it, immediately, their mouths would drop open and they’d ask, ‘Are you crazy?’ ”

“You couldn’t do this for the rest of your life. … It was exhausting,” said Doug Brown.

But he recommends couples push themselves at least once a week, regardless of fatigue.

Annie Brown said there were lasting benefits after the experiment was over.

For the full story please click here.

Sex takes 3 to 13 minutes, study says

If you have to describe sex by discussing how long it takes there is something wrong with you, or should I say that your relationship is in trouble.

Ok, I know that this is not the point of the article but it ties into a post from early March called A Sexually Incompatible Marriage which discussed how some marriages are being impacted by differing ideas on what a good sex life should entail.

Anyway, here is a snippet of information from the article about the study.

NEW YORK (AP) — Maybe men had it right all along: It doesn’t take long to satisfy a woman in bed.

A survey of sex therapists concluded the optimal amount of time for sexual intercourse was 3 to 13 minutes. The findings, to be published in the May issue of the Journal of Sexual Medicine, strike at the notion that endurance is the key to a great sex life.

If that sounds like good news to you, don’t cheer too loudly. The time does not count foreplay, and the therapists did rate sexual intercourse that lasts from 1 to 2 minutes as “too short.”

Researcher Eric Corty said he hoped to ease the minds of those who believe “more of something good is better, and if you really want to satisfy your partner, you should last forever.”

The questions were not gender-specific, said Corty. But he said prior research has shown men and women want foreplay and sexual intercourse to last longer.

Dr. Irwin Goldstein, editor of the Journal of Sexual Medicine, cited a four-week study of 1,500 couples in 2005 that found the median time for sexual intercourse was 7.3 minutes. (Women in the study were armed with stopwatches.)

It’s difficult for both older men and young men to make sexual intercourse last much longer, said Marianne Brandon, a clinical psychologist and director of Wellminds Wellbodies in Annapolis, Maryland.

I want to comment on one more line “It’s difficult for both older men and young men to make sexual intercourse last much longer“

Is it just me or is that line exceptionally vague. Older men and younger men have trouble making things last longer. So at what age do we men hit the sweet spot? How old or how young do you need to be to fall in the difficulty category. Inquiring minds want to know.

A Pregnant Man

Here is something you don’t see every day:

To our neighbors, my wife, Nancy, and I don’t appear in the least unusual. To those in the quiet Oregon community where we live, we are viewed just as we are — a happy couple deeply in love. Our desire to work hard, buy our first home, and start a family was nothing out of the ordinary. That is, until we decided that I would carry our child.

I am transgender, legally male, and legally married to Nancy. Unlike those in same-sex marriages, domestic partnerships, or civil unions, Nancy and I are afforded the more than 1,100 federal rights of marriage. Sterilization is not a requirement for sex reassignment, so I decided to have chest reconstruction and testosterone therapy but kept my reproductive rights. Wanting to have a biological child is neither a male nor female desire, but a human desire.”