Social Media

Come Sail With The Dread Pirate Roberts

October 12, 2012 by Jack Steiner 18 Comments

I sent out a dozen job applications this past week with cover letters in which I revealed my dream job as becoming the Dread Pirate Roberts.

Don’t know about you, but it seems like a pretty cool job to me and from a blogging standpoint it works in all sorts of ways. How many jobs provide more opportunities for adventures that lend themselves to being memorialized in story.

You might wonder if I am trying to be funny in this post or if I am going to shift gears. You might wonder about many things and that is ok. I spend more time wondering and wandering than I care to think about.

Maybe that is why I contacted Miracle Max and asked for some help. When I pressed him to move faster I received the standard response about not rushing a miracle man for fear of getting rotten miracles.

Princess Bride Quotes Are Social Media Gold

Princess Bride quotes are social media gold. I have never found a time when a quote didn’t generate a response of some sort and that is a positive thing. Social media is about people and people are about engagement.

Speaking of engagement I joined a few more tribes in Triberr and now I have an enormous…reach.

We’re going to see if it proves to be useful or not. If it doesn’t generate more engagement than the benefit is quite limited. The “ideal” situation is for it to generate a significant increase in the number of subscribers and a book deal.

That Princess Bride headline you read above is intentional. I am trying to pull more people in, but once I get them here I have to figure out how to retain them. So maybe I ought to provide some links to posts they should read:

My Social Media Experiment

Sometimes I stare at the ceiling and wonder how I can use social media to raise a million dollars. I close my eyes and think about writing a post where I tell people it is an experiment and I am curious to see how long it would take to raise a million dollars.

The money would go towards a bunch of things, basic living expenses, the books I want to write, a vacation, kick around cash and who knows what else.

I wouldn’t promise to do anything with it. Would I donate some to charity? Sure, I would but not because I had a million bucks but because I try to give back. But I am not going to try to convince anyone to give because I would give some to charity. I won’t guarantee a percentage or anything like that.

In this experiment all I am going to do is say that I will donate something. If I ever do it I will probably blog about it, assuming someone doesn’t steal my idea.

The Mutiny of My Legs

I played two hours of basketball last night and was disappointed to find learn my legs are on strike. Damn things mutinied again. Do you know how frustrating it is to drive to the basket and find the left you always had has left.

It pissed me off so I went to bathroom and threatened them with harm, but they just laughed at me. I blame my metabolism for this. I never should have let it run away because once it did chaos erupted.

These mystery aches and pains show up unannounced and stay for as long as they want. I keep threatening those damn squatters, but they just laugh at me.

Children and Star Wars

My almost 12 year-old son and his friends have this funny idea about their generation and Star Wars. Those little buggers seem to think they own the movies and have some sort of knowledge the older, wiser generation doesn’t.

I need to write George Lucas and thank him for raping my childhood by producing some prequels that weren’t as good as the originals and for turning Darth Vader into a character you feel sad for. That dude used to be bad. He was evil. He was mean.

Back in the day if you told someone you wanted to go Vader on them they knew you were serious and not a joke.

It is late and bed calls, but I think we are about due for another post about aggressive promotion and blogs. Before I go here is an invitation to join TheJackB facebook fan page.

Don’t miss out on all the cool things that happen there and don’t forget to sign up for the newsletter. Use the form at the top right of this page.

Good night from Los Angeles.

No more rhymes and I mean it!

You Are The Biggest Liar In Social Media

September 23, 2012 by Jack Steiner 20 Comments

Did I ever tell you about the time I got arrested at a blogging convention for punching twenty seven different people?

Blame it on my bad temper. I saw a group of people wearing shirts that said “I am A Really Big Deal on The Internet” and went mad with jealousy. Yep, I was struck blind by both their wit and biting sarcasm.

But what really set me off was the person who referred themselves as being the most humble blogger they knew and the smartest. They climbed on top of a trashcan and lectured the rest of us on how to become aterrificblogger like themselves and I just lost it.

It is embarrassing, but I couldn’t take it. They were standing onÂ trash inside this trashcan and the smell didn’t even make them blink. It was amazing and I just knew that someone that could stand in trash could cover themselves in shit and never be bothered by the stench that came with it.

This is a skill that I longed to master for years. Really, can you imagine how much value there is in mastering the secret message behind the story of the emperor who wore no clothes.

Jack Is Old And Cranky

Jack is old and cranky and tired of the bullshit that some people peddle, but not so tired that I need to speak in the third person about myself. I am tired of continuing to stumble onto posts where some know-it-all tries to convince everyone else they know more about blogging and social media than anyone else.

It is not because those people don’t exist it is because those that do don’t spend their time fertilizing the blogosphere with self righteous garbage about how the blogosphere would be better and people would be more successful if they would only blog like the self proclaimed master does.

This kind of crap irks me because it is not true. There is no single, uniform path to internet success and unless I see your books I am unlike to believe all that you say.

It is not because I am smarter than anyone else but because I have been around long enough to have seen a few things and learn a few tricks. Anyone can say anything online and some of the people that hang out here with us are bald faced liars who claim success they haven’t seen.

I could pepper this blog with ads from companies you have all heard of and many of you would assume that means I am generating quite a bit of income from those ads. But their appearance here doesn’t mean that is true.

What You See and What You Know

You don’t know what arrangements we have or don’t have. You don’t know if our financial arrangements are based upon CPMs, Cost-Per-Lead, Cost-Per-Acquisition, Flat rate sponsorship or some other hybrid model.

Hell, you don’t know if I have arranged to run these ads for free in the hopes that others will be impressed by what they see.

If you don’t check references you don’t know if the testimonials you see on sites are real and even then you probably won’t know many of the details. You can’t accept everything at face value nor should you always assume that people are lying. Not everyone does.

But that doesn’t negate our responsibility to question what we read. It doesn’t mean we shouldn’t ask ourselves if what we are reading makes sense or if something feels hinky.

When you get that funny feeling that something isn’t right you shouldn’t be afraid to ask questions. You don’t have to phrase it in a way that sounds like you are accusing the writer of stretching the truth. It is almost always better not to start conversations by making people defensive and or by insulting them.

Related Commentary/Links

Yeah, I know, I seem to have a bunch of posts that relate to this, but I have 9,500 others you can choose from if you don’t like these. I even threw in a few others just because…

Or maybe I should just ask Can You Write a Funny Post? I wonder how many people will comment. This could be interesting.

And with that Jack is ready to leave the building. Just remember blogging is about having fun and I am having a ball. How about you?

5 Reasons Why I Hate Your “Epic” Content

September 13, 2012 by Jack Steiner 36 Comments

I’ll give you five reasons why I HATE YOUR EPIC CONTENT:

It is not epic. It is not original, insightful, educational, recyclable or enjoyable. Not to mention that I am irked that people have overused epic and made it meaningless.
You didn’t write your post with a person in mind. It sounds like SEO gobbledy gook and I want to tear my hair out and gouge my eyeball with a fork.
Your call to action is to sign up for a newsletter that is going to try to sell me more useless nonsense. I don’t have time for this.
There is no single way to do this right. Stop telling me that you have the sole key to social media success because you don’t and in six months you’ll be gone.
You sell fear. You prey upon insecurity and worry. You are an emotional vampire and not the sort I want sucking on me.

Social Media Is About People

Technically I could have shortened that rant. It didn’t have to be a list of five line items. It would have been just as easy to make it a paragraph and to qualify that I am typing slow for some people but that is not how I roll.

The blogosphere has gotten to be exceptionally noisy and that has made people fight even harder to find ways to be heard. The thing is that many aren’t thinking about what they are doing or why. They are just out there pounding on their keyboards and screaming into cyberspace silly little slogans that might as well be “LOOK AT ME!”

You don’t have to do that. You don’t have to try to make every post a clone of those that are successful or work hard to try to be different. It is a big world and there is room for multiple voices and it is ok to say the same thing as everyone else as long as you say it in your voice and use your words.

Honda Versus Toyota

There is a reason why there are multiple brands successfully occupying the same space. Look at the auto companies and try to tell me what the material differences are between Honda Accords and Toyota Camrys. If you are comparing equivalent models the cars are quite similar.

If you write like a person and for people you will find your tribe. You will find people that prefer your voice and your way of talking/speaking/explaining and they will hang with you. If you treat them like people you will build a community and gain trust/loyalty.

What Are Your Goals?

What are your goals? Why are you here? What are you doing and what do you hope to achieve?

It is clear to me that some of you don’t have a clue and are just fumbling around. That is not necessarily a bad thing, especially if you run a personal blog and don’t care what people think. But if you are business blogger, well some of you are hurting your business.

But hey, what do I know I am just a dad blogger with a pen.

How 3,000 Sycophants Made One Man A Better Blogger Part 2

July 9, 2012 by Jack Steiner 9 Comments

Shakespeares "Puck" — Shakespeares “Puck” (Photo credit: dbking)

“If we shadows have offended,
Think but this, and all is mended:
that you have but slumber’d here,
While these visions disappear.
And this weak and idle theme,
No more yielding but a dream”
Puck’s Epilogue
A Midsummer Night’s Dream- Shakespeare

Â Your old friend Jack is a simple dad blogger who doesn’t understand the ways of the world. He knows not what he speaks of in business or social media. This is proven to be true by the lack of comments and followers who frequent these parts.

That is two parts sarcasm and three parts rhubarb boiled in rum and sweetened with some sort of sugary something or other. Or maybe it is proof that I suck at math, beats me. I don’t care to think too hard about it.

I still don’t take myself or life too seriously. I still blog first for me and then for you without much thought about whether I post too frequently for some to keep up or if my content is too broad or too narrow.

Here is some of what I know about myself:

I am forty-three and a father.
Sometimes I still feel like I am on the outside looking in.
I am intense. There is a fire that burns in my belly that has never gone out and probably won’t until I die.
Some people like me and some hate me. There doesn’t tend to be much in the way of ambivalence about how people feel about me.
I would prefer that people like me but I don’t care if they don’t. Not enough time in the day to worry about that.
I am a contradiction and sometimes more self conscious than I would like to be.

Here is some of what I know about social media:

Social media is about people, not platforms or tools.
Not everyone reads what we write/tweet/blog/share.
Some people don’t understand whatÂ we write/tweet/blog/share.
People remember how you make them feel more than they remember whatÂ we write/tweet/blog/share.
Some people tell you what to do because they only know one way to do it and are afraid to admit it.

That photo makes me think of some of the blog communities that I have visited. One person speaks and everyone listens but almost no one says anything. At least that is one way of looking at it.

Another way is to say that the community can’t believe the crap this person is shoveling and they are preparing to respond to it.

My preference is to be a part of communities where people feel comfortable to disagree. I am not a sheep and am guilty of sometimes looking down at sheeple.

I will tell you if I disagree. I will try to be polite about it. Sometimes I will fail. I don’t like failing, especially when we are trying to have a discussion. People don’t like it when you make them feel stupid.

If you and your community fling crap at me I might take two handfuls and throw it back at you. If you are really nasty I might even try to rub it in your hair. Blame that on the Jack Reacher gene. 😉

It is not a particularly good trait, but age has helped to eliminate much of it.

How Do You Know?

When my children tell me something is a fact I ask them “How Do You Know?” It is not because I want to be adversarial but because in the Internet age it is critical to ask questions about what we are told is real.

Many people have a bad tendency to believe whatever they read. It is easy to construct a professional looking site and to populate it with content that sounds important.

But that doesn’t mean that it is real, truthful or accurate.

I want my children to take time to think about what they are being told and to figure out what is real. I don’t want them to be suckered intentionally or otherwise.

Some of the “big shots” are fighting to stay on top or trying like crazy to get there. They are throwing crap at the wall to see what sticks. Not a very smart way to go about things, but when people feel insecure they do things.

But what do I know about any of this. I am just a dad blogger who slings words for a living.

69 Reasons Why Social Media Platforms Don’t Matter

June 27, 2012 by Jack Steiner 35 Comments

Let’s cut to the chase immediately: I am not going to provide you with 69 reasons why social media platforms don’t matter. That is not because I can’t come up with 69 reasons because I can, but it is unnecessary.

What is necessary is gaining your attention and now that I have it here is what you need to know and remember.

The most important part of social media isn’t the platform but the people.

It is not complicated but some people need to read/hear messages several times before they sink in so I am going to repeat it.

The most important part of social media isn’t the platform but the people.

I love blogging and I love Twitter but neither one of them is worth a damn without people. If people didn’t matter Facebook wouldn’t use a body part Â as part of its name. Pinterest is exciting to its users because of people.

The reason I mention this is because we are inundated with posts that provide guides for how to be successful in social media. Most of those guides offer a tiny section where they say that content is king and that you should provide value to your readers, but that is not enough for me.

The most important part of social media isn’t the platform but the people.

People remember how you make them feel. If you make them feel valued and special they will spend time with you. They will form communities and help support you and the others in the community.

I am not a saint. I won’t try to portray myself as one. This isn’t an attempt at self deprecation or me saying “aw shucks, I am just a dad.” I am a man who has lots of good qualities and plenty of bad ones.

Some of the negative ones are things that you love and some are things you hate. That is really neither here nor there. What matters though is that I recognize that people make social media run.

What matters is that I am teaching my children to look at the world around them and give back. I want them to know that they live magical lives where they might not have as much as others but a hell of a lot more than many.

They never go hungry or worry about where they are going to sleep. Their clothes are clean, they aren’t thirsty and they get dirty by choice.

One of my responsibilities as their father and a dad blogger is to teach them to give back. I do that in person and I remark about it here so that in the future they remember.

The most important part of social media isn’t the platform but the people.

This blog isn’t solely about trying to build a platform for work or to secure an agent for books. It is not solely about chronicling the lives of my children or sharing my thoughts.

It is about doing the right thing in a general sense and today it is a reminder that social media is about people and so is life.

When you give back good things happen. Every now and then we need to go out and help people. I don’t care if you volunteer or give money solely because you think it gives you good karma because if do it you might help improve a life and that is worth doing.

This isn’t me trying to be profound or insightful. It is just my attempt to weave together two things under one roof. Social media isn’t about theÂ platforms, it is about the people and so is life.

Is There A Benefit To Paying for Facebook Fans For Your FB Fan Page?

June 14, 2012 by Jack Steiner 61 Comments

In a world in which larger numbers provide proof of authority and expertise I wonder if there is a benefit to paying for fans for your Facebook Fan page.

I posed a similar question earlier this year regarding whether people should pay for Twitter followers and the general consensus was that it shouldn’t be done.

There is no doubt in my mind that organic growth is far superior to paying for fans, followers, comments, likes and all things similar. Dig through this blog and you’ll find lots of commentary about why comments are not currency and support for building your community around you.

Read through the various posts and you’ll find more than a few posts in which I referred to Steve Jobs as Voldemort and talked about the Cult of Apple. Yet if I was going to search for an example of a community of fans and fanatics Apple would be at the top of the list.

Think about it. It is not hard to find computers, cellphones, tablets and MP3 players for less than what it would cost to purchase the corresponding Apple Product but the Cult of Apple doesn’t care.

That is because Apple has convinced them that price is not the factor to base their purchasing decisions upon. They aren’t the low priced leader and you won’t ever see them be.

In a perfect world our community would be populated by that same rabid support.Â The readers of this blog would tell their friends. family and colleagues that they HAVE to read this and that it is a mistake not to.

Building The Cult Of Jack

It could be fun to create my own cult. Hell, who doesn’t want minions and groupies. Minions and groupies are happy to do all the scut work and handle the chores you just don’t want to do, but I don’t see it happening. Nor do I really want it.

What I want is to build a bigger platform and to reach more people. What I want is to build a bigger community which leads me back to the initial question and more thinking out loud.

Is there a significant difference between advertising and paying for people. Would that provide a short cut to the top and or make it easier to break free of the noise? What is natural growth for a blog? What would happen if I spoke every month at various conferences about social media?

One could argue that the additional exposure and the inclusion as a speaker at a conference(s) might yield significant benefits and that I’d gain a lot of new readers/fans/followers that way. Of course I would still have to retain them, but let’s not get into details.

While some of this is clearly tongue-in-cheek I can’t help but wonder. Every where we look there are stories about this. Google Klout and see what you find. Read Mark Schaefer’s post about Klout scores and ask yourself what you would do if you saw an easy way to gain that exposure we were talking about.

Conclusions

Part of what I love about social media is that it affords the opportunity to experiment and to try things. That is what led me to Triberr andÂ it is going to continue to be part of what I do here.

I am going to keep poking, prodding, twisting and turning to see what happens. I might even try paying for those fans just to see what happens. There are multiple opportunities on Fiverr and I might give up my morning coffee and oatmeal to try it.

Will I feel slimy afterwards? Maybe or maybe not. I am experimenting and that requires taking some chances. Ultimately that won’t be what makes or breaks me. Content and people drive this corner of cyberspace. If I don’t provide content that makes you think/feel you won’t come back.

If I don’t work on building relationships with you it will make it that much harder to keep your attention.

So, what do you think about all this? I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments.