Yeah Write

There are three things that I wish I had real talent/ability:

Singing, Dancing and Painting.

Alas, I am not particularly good at any of them.

When I shed my fear and remove my pride I find my way with ease through each one of these mazes. I sing loud, dance with reckless abandon and don’t feel obligated to describe my painting as being modern.

Sometimes Fear And Pride Influence Me

Sometimes fear and pride have more influence over me than I wish to admit. Sometimes they stop me from doing what it is that I really want to do. There are moments where they have had their way and I have missed opportunities because of them.

I am not prescient which I suppose is part of why there have been those moments where I didn’t walk into the cornstalks to see where the other ballplayers went. Sometimes I could justify it by basing my decision upon experience and the gut feeling that the time just wasn’t right to go for it.

Sometimes that payed off and I could rest comfortably knowing I did the right thing, but not always.

Wanderlust is a part of my heart and that restless need to find out what lies just around the bend or behind the door doesn’t always accept playing it safe.

What Price Do We Pay?

There is a price to be paid for all that we do and fear and pride are no different. But I remind myself that this is not necessarily a good or bad thing. It is just part of life. Every time we make a choice it comes with a little something but we don’t always know whether that is good or bad until we do it.

So I have tried to adjust how I live my life so that I don’t walk around like some sort of crazy bookkeeper tabulating the cost of every little thing I do. I don’t spend every moment trying to calculate how many calories are in the extra slice of pizza or worrying that playing it safe/not playing it safe will hurt me.

When I think about watching my children learn how to walk I remember how every time they fell they got back up and did it again. Every time they wobbled they kept pushing until they didn’t rock back and forth on their feet.

Once upon a time I was no different.

I was them and most of the time I like to think I still am.

Painting/Singing/Dancing

The reason I wish I could do all three of these things more skillfully than I do now is very simple. I like creating. I like expressing. I like letting loose and finding ways to translate the images I see in my mind.

All three of these things would help with that. They are all made for it. They are made for expression of any and all feelings.

There is joy to be found there and I always look for more ways to experience and share joy.

All I have to do now is keep working at preventing fear and pride from spoiling that, most of the time I think I am pretty about it.

How about you?

This blog isn’t just a place for venting, story telling or discussions about business. It isn’t just an echo chamber to be used as a joint where we can rehash the same old stuff everyone else talks about.

It is here to serve as a chronicle of thoughts and ideas about life and as a historical document which can be used to see what life was like once upon a time.

When I pose questions about how much influence does money have on your life it is tied into other posts:

• If You Could Do Anything What Would You Do?
• Dear Children- Don’t Ask For Approval
• Bloggers Are Insecure

Some readers find it helpful to read those links because it helps tie everything together and some don’t because they can’t follow the thoughts and logic that lead from one thought to the next.

I am ok with that because this place isn’t for everyone and wasn’t designed to be.

How Much Influence Does Money Have On Your Life?

It is more rhetorical than literal.  Really it is me asking if you are the kind of person who is willing to fight to live your dreams or content to dream your life.

That’s not directed just at you either, the finger I am pointing faces me too.

Long time readers know some of this and are familiar with many of my stories. You know I have buried more than a couple of friends and am more familiar with how short life can be than I want to be.

You have read the posts in which I said I wasn’t satisfied with how my life was going and that I wanted to change things because it wasn’t working.

I made changes.

Life is different.

Life is better.

Money Is An Excuse and Good Life Experience

I used to think about all the things I would do and places I would go if I was rich. It was fun to dream.

Hard work and luck made things happen for me and there came a day where I had enough money to take those trips and buy those things but what I found was that I didn’t do a lot of what I had always thought I would do.

Some of it was because I was too busy working to go on long trips to far away places. It was easier to go on lots of little trips & say the big trips would come later when the kids weren’t babies.

I didn’t buy everything I thought I would  because I was trying to be responsible and  because I realized I didn’t care about some of those things.

I Lost It All

Things happened. Life happened. The money disappeared. The opportunities dried up.

Five years later I am back but things are different because I learned the difference between want and need and because I don’t use money as an excuse for doing or not doing what I need and want to live.

What about You?

If life were based upon technicalities I could adjust the headline to say a five decade love affair because technically I have been a part of five. Technically I watched the moon landing from whatever baby seat my folks strapped me into, but I can’t say that I remember it.

What I can say is I love Los Angeles and that I always have.

The City of Angels is where I was born and raised and when the choice of where to live was given to me I didn’t have to think twice about it–I stayed.

I stayed for a million good reasons and a million more that had nothing to do with logic or reason. I stayed because I wanted to and not just because it was where most of my family and friends are.

But things happen, people change and hard decisions have to be made.

It is Time To Go

Technically a writer isn’t struggle to the find the write words to use but on a day of technicalities I am struggling. It is because I am not sure how I want to express these thoughts and ideas.

The easiest way is to say opportunity knocked and I answered.

Something wonderful came my way and I have to set sail for the new world and find out if the fountain of youth is located there or if this is nothing more than a pipe dream. It is not a bad thing this adventure I am about to set out on, but it is hard.

It is hard because I have to leave the family behind. It is the middle of the school year so it makes no sense to uproot the children, especially when I don’t know what things are going to be like.

From here they look magnificent and golden but you can’t make educated decisions about some things from a distance, all you can make are educated guesses.

They Don’t Want Me To Go

They cried when I told them about the new joy and asked why it had to be so far away. When I explained why I was doing this my daughter looked at me and said, “how can it make things better when you are breaking our hearts to do it.”

My son composed himself and asked why I would have to move when technology makes it possible to do anything from anywhere. I told him he was right but that sometimes it is still easier to get work done when you are in the same place as the people you are working with.

I told them no final decisions have been made about where we are living but technically that is not true. Unless I absolutely hate things this will be a short separation and we’ll find a place for all of us to live.

Sometimes I hate technicalities but in this case I know it will make it easier for them to finish out the school year without much fuss.

Call Me Jack Reacher

Tomorrow I’ll load up my car with a couple of suitcases and my laptop and take the first step of this new adventure. I intentionally haven’t made a reservation anywhere so I will drive until I get tired and than find a place to sleep for the night.

Along the way I’ll listen to music and lose myself in whatever thoughts come my way and probably come up with a half dozen different Jack Reacher scenarios all starring me.

Technically they’ll work because it is my imagination making them happen. Technically it will work even though I am not as tall as Reacher and never was in the service. And although I am confident in my ability to handle myself I prefer not to imitate Reacher’s penchant for fighting his way through a town.

It makes for a good story but not part of this one.

I’ll Be Back

I can’t remember a time when I liked saying goodbye so don’t worry Los Angeles, because today isn’t any different. You know I am the guy who slips out the door and rides his horse off into the sunset.

No muss, no fuss.

That is how I prefer it. Would much rather be the lone gunslinger riding towards the next adventure.

Technically I am leaving, but I’ll be back again. It might be for a visit or it might be for something more, can’t say.

Be good Los Angeles and I’ll see you around.