There is a group of us who gather together to catch up on recent events in our personal and professional lives.
We laugh about some of the common changes that aging has bestowed upon us and compare notes as to who has had the most surgeries or is taking the most pills.
I lose both of those by quite a bit which makes me happy because it means my health is doing better than just holding up.
Conversation floats into some stories about college and a couple of fraternity events at which point some ask whatever happened to so and so.
One of the guys who went to high school and college asks about my high school girlfriend.
“You sort of dated on and off in college didn’t you?”
“It fizzled out by the middle of our junior year. She said if we kept dating we’d get married and I told her I wouldn’t marry her.”
He says he guessed that mostly ended it and I shrug my shoulders.
“Whatever happened to her?”
“She got married three or four times. First husband hated me. We had lots of friends in common so I used to bump into them.
He got drunk at a wedding and mouthed off. I wasn’t particularly nice with my response. Made some crack about her bedroom habits that set him off. Probably shouldn’t have said anything, but I was 25 and had a couple of drinks in me too.
Anyway, she is a grandmother now which I guess means he is a grandfather. So clearly they are quite old.”
The guys laugh and someone says “Aren’t you older than she is?”
“Yeah, but younger than him.”
The thing is most of us have at least one friend now who is a grandparent or about to become one so the old comment is relative.
One Day
The really funny thing about it is the guys who are still married and have kids have begun hearing bits and pieces from their wives about what kind of grandmothers they want to be.
Some who planned on downsizing are no longer sure if they are going to do it because there is this idea of having a house that is big enough for everyone to come home.
When they ask me for my thoughts I shrug my shoulders again.
“Do you remember what my dad said about being a grandfather? If he had known it was that much fun he would skipped being a dad.
I sort of suspect I’ll be a little like that but it is not happening any time soon and I am ok. Told the kids to live a little bit before they settle because it will change things.
And if I have learned anything, it is not to expect that kids will come to my house just because I want them to. There are always a minimum of two families, so I’ll wait and see what life looks like.
One day I’ll have an answer.
****
That is a common refrain for me, “one day.”
It is how I am living, one day at a time.
Got lots of things going on and some big potential changes that make it harder to plan out too far, so it is easier to just break it up into pieces.
Live one day at a time and see where it leads.
Kind of relaxing if you ask me, takes much of the pressure off and that is a good thing.
